Thursday, July 8, 2010

Dear Warren Buffett

Dear Warren Buffett:

I recently heard you were giving away most of your money, Mr. Buffett.  I understand most -- if not all -- of it will go to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.  It is a worthy cause, sir.

However, I would like to bring your attention to another cause:  Me.

I struggle like a lot of American people.  I am not poor enough to be eligible for assistance (and feel very, very fortunate to have a job in this economy).  But I am still working my butt off to get my bills paid and just barely stay above water.  My boyfriend is working on his doctorate and we will have over $200,000 in school loans to pay off when he is done.  Did you know that, while working on his post-doc hours, many places will offer him a whole $10 an hour to work?  Doesn't seem fair considering a kid down the street can go work at In-N-Out for that much. But I digress...

Anyway, if you accidentally dropped a million dollars off in my bank account, Mr. Buffett, I promise to do nice things with it.  Maybe I could invest it.  Work part-time.  Use my new-found spare time to donate my time to feed the homeless or work in a women's shelter.  I'd love to travel a little bit.  Rescue babies and animals.  I'd buy my horse back.  In the whole scheme of things, a million dollars would mean nothing to you but it would change my life.

Of course, I expect nothing for free!  In exchange, I could promise to help you with some things around the house.  I can paint fences.  Toes.  I like to drive cars, so I can chauffeur you around, if you'd like.  Maybe take you horseback riding on the beach (the best feeling ever, if you've never tried it).  I know how to do a lot of things!  Just ask and your wish is my command (well, to a point). 

So, dear, dear Mr. Buffett.  I hope this letter finds you well and in a jovial mood (somewhat like Santa Claus!).  I applaud your extreme generosity and hope that some of it will shine down upon me.

Your dearest newfound friend,

Lori Myers

P.S.. Oprah, in case you happen across this, I like you too!  


  1. I am not so sure about those beach rides on a horse ;)

  2. Do not bias him, David!! That may be the selling point! :-P

  3. Shameless! I love it!

  4. What. I offered to paint his toes!

  5. Let me know how that works out for you. If you get a million, or win the lottery, I will send you a similar letter; I'll ratchet down the dollar amount, but still...

  6. Robert, do not be selfish! Find your own rich man to offer to paint toenails on so you can have a million dollars. :-P

  7. You are so talented there will be so many ways you could help Mr. Buffet can get him into Twirly Tuff and help him get his abs back....he needs a trainer....

  8. Bel, that is an EXCELLENT idea!!!!!