Saturday, February 5, 2011

Who says that?!

So this afternoon, I went over to a friend's house for a get-together.  There were a lot of familiar faces but a lot of new ones too.  I wandered.  I ate food.  I visited.  I played with the baby, Mason. 

As the afternoon was winding down and people were starting to leave, they let the family pitbull into the house.  His name is Cain.  He's a gorgeous dog.  Very sweet and playful.  He wanted to play tug-o-war.  I played with him for a bit but he's really strong and kept ripping the toy from my hand.  He'd happily run back and put it back in though.  I would play for a few, but it felt like Cain was going to rip my entire arm from its socket.  So I started laughing and yelling, "Cain, you're gonna rip my arm off!"  Over.  And over. 

A lady who had been sitting down most of the party got up and was standing near me and playing with Cain a little too.  We were laughing and chatting about what a great dog he is.  Suddenly I realize that her flowy shirt was hiding something.


I almost died.  I had been screaming, "CAIN, YOU'RE GONNA RIP MY ARM OFF," for ten minutes.  I felt like such an idiot.  She never said anything or seemed to get upset about it.  I made sure I stopped. 

Later, after everyone was gone, I was telling my friends and the family about it.  I told them how mortified I was.  They laughed until they almost pee'd their pants.  I mean, in a million years WHO would that happen to?!  ME!!!!!  I'm screaming about my arm getting ripped off and someone who actually LOST their arm (she lost it later in life, she wasn't born that way, I found out later) is standing next to me.


Open mouth.  Forget the foot.  Insert entire body. 

Who says that?!


  1. OMFG!! That is the FUNNIEST STORY I have heard in a LONG time!!! Jesus Lori!!! LMAO!!!! <3

  2. That poor woman must think I'm the biggest idiot!! I mean, it IS hilarious because this kind of stuff happens to me all the time. I hope I didn't upset her!! :-/

  3. Now THAT is funny!!! I've seen over the years that there are two types of people when it comes to "disabilities." There are those that don't look at life as if they were handed a disability as much as a challenge. They find joy in the small things, and they know how to laugh at themselves. Then there are those that just don't know how to make lemonade, and they feel like they are "owed" something by the rest of us.
    Let's be on the side of the positive party goers!!! If she didn't come over and tear you a new one, she probably figured you hadn't noticed her (lack of an) arm and came over to talk to you because you are a fun spirit to be around!!!
    But yeah, I do it too!!! I just figure if they don't like the random shit I say, well... They can get up and leave! Now, let's go find us a burn victim and light up some cigarrettes... Just kidding!!!

  4. You are sick! I love it! lol!!! Yeah, she seemed very comfortable so I don't think I actually offended her. But I still felt stupid. At the same time, I HAD to giggle because, WTF?! How does that happen?!