Friday, December 16, 2011

Operation Lose the Lard Ass -- Four months in

I certainly haven't lost any weight but I am gaining muscles like crazy.  And in weird places, like my armpits (which someone has informed me are actually my lats).  I just say I have fat armpits.  "Oh, you have awesome biceps?!  Well, check out my freakishly strong armpit!"

You can get caught up on Operation Lose the Lard Ass here:

A month ago, I was, unhappily, up to 251.  Today, I'm 255.  Yesterday I was 253.  My weight fluctuates every single day.  I can go up and down by 5 pounds in a night.  I only weigh in the morning before I've eaten breakfast, but I assume I'm super sensitive to swelling and salt, so I gain and lose water weight easily. 

I have been trying to watch my food -- in particular my sugar intake.  Some days I'm good.  Some days I'm not.  I still allow stress to dictate what I eat sometimes and there have been a lot of stressful days lately. 

I set a list of goals recently as well:

My short term goal of losing 20 pounds is for two reasons.  First off, if I do end up teaching a class at Twirly Girls, I don't want to be the "fat" teacher.  Second, I may be doing some on-camera work in January and I don't want to be the big blob next to the tiny performers. 

I have teamed up with my gastric bypass sister, Jessica (read her story HERE, and HERE is my story for her Facebook page).  We are accountability partners for each other.  Although, I find that the more honest I am becoming with the public in general, the more an accountability partner doesn't work.  It used to be that admitting my short-comings to another human would cause me to stop doing said action so that I wouldn't be humiliated.  Now I happily admit what I've done and just excuse myself by saying, "I'm only human."  Being publicly "only human" is making me fat.  I will continue to check in with Jessica, because I love her for being so supportive of me.  She has some weight loss goals but is focusing on water in-take.  I need to realize too that I am the only person responsible for my food intake and exercise.  I appreciate the encouragement from others, but I am the one who shoves that shit in my face. 

Here's the history of my weight:

Approximate weight before starting phen-fen in 1996 (when I was 20 years old): 300
Approximate lowest weight after phen-fen (I was on it for 9 months): 235
Highest pre-surgery weight in late 2003: 347
Weight on surgery day: 317 (3/17/2004 -- HERE is an update from my 6th new-birthday/surgiversary in 2010)
Lowest weight after surgery: 180 (approx. 1/2005)
Approximate weight around plastic surgery: 210 (2006)
Weight in 2008: 222 (started going to the gym religiously)
Weight in March 2009: 201
Weight in August 2009: 215 (met Rob)
Weight in December 2009: 225 (started Twirly Girls)
Weight on 6th new-birthday: 225 (3/2010)
Weight on 7th new-birthday: 230 (3/2011)
Weight today: 255

So my weight has fluctuated wildly in my lifetime.  I still have a long-term goal of getting back down to 200 pounds.  Maybe with all of these amazing muscles, then 220 will work nicely.  Regardless, I need to get serious about my short-term goal of losing 20 pounds so that Shrek doesn't make an appearance in January for my interviews.

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