Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sexuality versus Sensuality

I have a hard time with these two words.  Mostly because I consider them to be the same thing:  something, although I'm not sure what, slightly naughty.

sen·su·al·i·ty [sen-shoo-al-i-tee]  

noun, plural -ties.
1. sensual nature: the sensuality of Keats's poetry.
2. unrestrained indulgence in sensual  pleasures.
3. lewdness; unchastity.
sex·u·al·i·ty [sek-shoo-al-i-tee or, especially Brit., seks-yoo-]
1. sexual  character; possession of the structural and functional traits of sex.
2. recognition of or emphasis upon sexual  matters.
3. involvement in sexual  activity.
4. an organism's preparedness for engaging in sexual  activity.
When I think sensual, I think candles and a bubble bath.  When I think sexual, I think hooker heels and a short skirt.  I am still trying to figure it out but found this article and thought I would share.  I am going to continue to think about this and in the meantime, after you read this article, let me know what you think. 
Sexuality vs. Sensuality: The Steady Decline of Affection in America 

Posted: 1/10/12 04:24 PM ET

Although assorted diversities, tastes and needs are typical, what has recently caught my attention is the American public's sudden desire for a GFE-style companionship. For those unfamiliar with GFE, allow me to explain. The acronym, so commonly used in my profession, stands for "Girl Friend Experience." In many déclassé forms of prostitution the definition of the girlfriend experience might mean that the lady offers kissing as part of her repertoire for an extra fee. A true courtesan offers herself in her entirety. The whole experience, whether a few moments or a few days, feels as though there is a deep connection of sensuality and warmth between the parties. The art of being a courtesan is perfected only with the exchange of affection and a desire for closeness, which comes from raw, unbridled passion. A true courtesan feels a genuine appreciation for her client.

Having been a professional paramour all my adult life, I was struck by the recent resurgence of requests for romantic interludes. I started to wonder: What has caused so many people to suddenly feel so alone and in need of an ear, a hand to hold, or casual dinner conversation? The answer is simple.

In my opinion, modern Americans have failed miserably when it comes to differentiating between the words "sex" and "sensuality." Our view of what is "sexy" has become so askew that many women and men don't even know what their own desires are anymore. With most contemporary portrayals of sexuality being outright promiscuity and tactless drunken debauchery, it's not surprising that women and men have lost sight of the joys and need for sensuality. Between this severely misguided view of human sexuality and the pressures of our everyday lives, the sex lives of most Americans have been stunted. Those involved in relationships, and even those who are battling through the "dating scene," are faced with the pressures to conform to what society is telling us sex should be.

There is a lack of appreciation for tenderness running rampant through our sexual society. Our porn has become boring and, in my opinion, it might have much to do with this unrealistic and unromanticized version of physical pleasure. Women seem to think that a quick, rough and raunchy screw is the definition of "sexy" for men. Men seem to think that a sweaty, all night, creatively impressive, position-fest is the answer. Although both have their place, that isn't the only way to give your partner the ultimate satisfaction. Taking the time to kiss, caress and hold one another is so important and the ability to really listen to one another is essential.
Allow me, a self-proclaimed expert in the field of pleasure, to be the one to tell you that the desire for pillow talk, kissing and tenderness has never been at such an all-time premium. My clients come from far and wide just to have the opportunity to let go, be romantic, take their time and just enjoy the company of another human. It might sound odd to take advice from a woman who is paid to pleasure the public, but I can assure you, the more you listen, the less the public will need my services.
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