Monday, January 2, 2012

Split Personality

So last week I finally did what I would almost never suggest to a client:  I opened a second Facebook profile for my family members and some former co-workers.  First off, this is against Facebook rules.  They don't actually want people opening multiple accounts.  They would prefer you create groups and try to navigate their confusing tools for excluding certain groups from posts (which fails I usually say, don't say anything on Facebook that you don't want EVERYONE to know).  

An attorney I used to work with recently added me on Facebook, so that was the catalyst to finally open a second account.  I kicked most of my extended family off my page almost a year ago.  I'm not embarrassed or hiding the fact that I pole dance.  I just realize that its not for everyone and sometimes I don't feel like being the one who is providing information for these people to talk about me behind my back more than they do.  I found out a few months ago that one of my uncles moved to Seattle or Portland or somewhere in another state.  I had no idea.  So I figured having a second "child"-friendly Facebook page would be the best answer to keeping in touch with friends and family who might not need to know about all of my pole dancing adventures.  

I am still struggling with the decision.  Part of me still thinks that people can take me or leave me -- ALL of me.  Part of me just thinks this will be the easier answer and I should just get over it.  What do you think? 


  1. I know a couple of girls from my studio that have separate pole- and private accounts, so that they can share videos and pictures without having to worry about who sees what:)

  2. I totally understand where you are coming from. Surprisingly the most negative responses to my pole dancing have been from my brothers,their families, and my son. Rather than have a second page I just don't have family other than my daughter, stepkids and wife on my page. I only have one co-worker on page. My parents have no interest in Facebook so that really keeps things from being awkward.

    It might seem harsh but I would rather share my life with people who share my interests rather than people I have to work with or family that is busy thinking I'm looney because I dance.

    I hope you dual pages allow you to have the best of both worlds.

  3. I agree that people should just take you or leave you- but not everyone will ever understand that pole dancing is a sport, or a hobby that *anyone* can do... take the pole away and you're just doing gymnastics and dance. But a lot of people just automatically think strippers and prostitutes.

    When I left my home to travel, I asked my sister if I could 'hide' my pole at her place and she automatically thought it was some sex toy that she wanted nothing to do with. I still can't ever tell my parents that I pole dance- they would NEVER get it and I don't really feel like explaining to them. That would be like trying to teach a cat to bark.

    I think if anything, you could always hide your photos or make your profile less accessible to people you don't want knowing about your pole-ing. Conversely, you could just change your FB name or make your profile private so people can't go searching for you.

    But I understand- FB has way too many little apps and is more trouble then its worth to go trawling around on your own page trying to privatize this and hide that....

    In the end, I think people who talk behind your back and judge you because of pole dancing are just ugly losers and upset that their a$$ can't do half the tricks you can!

  4. I generally agree people should take you/me or leave you/me, BUT, I have two accounts as well. One is for the more personal aspects of my life (where I'm open about pole and other more "alternative" aspects of my personality--no I don't do drugs), and one is for people I work with, etc.. My personal life is my personal life, I will share it with who I chose. My more "real" account is under a pseudonym, which is handy, since it's easier to spell than my real last name.

  5. I normally don't care (or try not to care anyway) what other people think but most of the mom's side of my family is pretty religious. I figure its just easier to have the other profile. Just seems easier than dealing with their snide looks.