"I don't look down on curvy girls. At the same time, I don't want to be one," shortly after saying that you don't consider it a handicap. However, I am all in favor of personal choice and if it is more ideal for you to wish to be a size 4 as opposed to a size 14, in my eyes, that is perfectly acceptable. We want women to be happy in the skin they are in and if you are unhappy and being tinier would make you feel better about yourself, than that is what we would want for you.
That's all I want for you. I've seen your photos. You're lovely. I wish you knew that about you and can see yourself as I see you in your pictures. Strong, fit, smart, savvy and yes, even curvy. And I promise you, it's not a bad thing. :)