Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Being a HEALTHY Plus-Sized Pole Dancer...How An Innocent Offer Almost Ruined Me

Last year, I received a somewhat innocent e-mail from the friend of a friend, offering to help me lose weight.  She didn't want to insinuate that I *needed* to lose weight, but in case I decided that I *did* want to lose weight, she wanted to suggest her products.  And so began my downward spiral.

Look, I'm not blaming this person.  I had gained some weight and definitely needed to lose it.  But focusing so hard on weigh-ins and diet and supplements ruined me.  She would be so disappointed each week when my numbers weren't changing.  She felt like even *if* I wasn't eating or exercising properly, her products should have caused other numbers to change.  I've gained 20 or 25 pounds since I started that diet/program. 

So this brings me to my first point...

FAD DIETS ARE BULLSHIT.  Pointless "vitamins."  Useless supplements.  These are NOT the way to lose weight.  Eat somewhat clean and healthy, exercise and don't obsess.  Let yourself be happy!  Are you happy when you're dieting?  No, of course not!  You're starving and grumpy!  Don't get me wrong here.  I am not anti- these products.  I take vitamins and use protein shakes (and will always have to due to the gastric bypass).  I just don't believe that you need to spend hundreds of dollars each week for products that promise to deliver results when they can't guarantee anything other than the draining of your wallet. 

Again, I don't blame anyone for my backslide.  I realize I am responsible for my own health.  But it does make me realize that everyone has to lose weight (or be healthy) in their own way.  And I cannot let someone else's ideal of what I should weigh or look like alter my path or decide my fate. 

This brings me to my next point...

Whether you are a pole dancer, a rock climber, a salsa dancer, a boxer...no matter what your size is, ROCK IT.  Don't wait to lose weight.  Figure out what you're good at and DO IT.  Now!

I AM a plus-sized pole dancer.  I get frustrated in pole when I can't invert and climb like other people, but there are definitely things I can do that some of the other people can't.  I have been perfecting my handstand.  I still have a lot of work to do to do one properly but it is definitely "my move."  You already know you are strong.  Are you super flexible?  Can you do a pole sit?  Headstands?  Handstands?  Focus on YOUR move and then perfect it.

There are many plus-sized(ish) pole dancers in the community that we can look up to.

Check out Emmy, who writes Diary of a Plus Size Pole Dancer:  

Don't forget LuLu:   

And, Roz The Diva:

And even though I get shy about videos, here is one *I* did last night, mostly playing around with some transitions:

And if you need to catch up on the fat versus fit or the healthy fat girl debate, here are some past posts:


Tell me about what might be holding you back.  Sure, it might not be your weight.  But something is...and I want to know how you're working past it!

And here are some pictures of "my" move and some other motivational things I found around the internet.  :-)


  1. You have wonderful transitional moves. That is something I really struggle with in pole. Your movements are so fluid and you appear confident in what you are doing. :) Keep it up!

  2. Wonderful! Something must be keeping pole sisters on the same wavelength - I just posted about learning to love yourself yesterday: http://ascendingslowly.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/my-body-is-a-wonder/ Keep up the good work!!

  3. Kiki, thank you!! I am working really hard on things I CAN do...transitions and floor work for now.

    Angela, great post! I tried to add you to my blogroll but the site won't save. I'll try again later in case its a Blogger issue.

  4. As someone who is taking Pole 1 after losing 100 lbs, this is such a fantastic, motivating, beautiful thing to read!! I want you to know that I would KILL to look the way you do in that video....I think your body and shape is to die for, and your transitions are fluid and slinky and gracefully sensuous. I am dealing with a lot of excess skin from my weightloss, and had told myself I wouldn't do pole until after skin removal surgery, but then I decided to do it now, and learn to love the body I had while I save money for surgery. I get frustrated because there are things that I just CAN'T do...whether it's from being the biggest girl in the class, or just fighting to find my muscles under sagging empty skin. Reading this has reminded me to focus on what I CAN do and perfect it....it's a learning process. Thank you for sharing!! :)

    1. Oh wow... thank you for commenting on this post and reminding me that I need to appreciate the things I can do!! Man, the last few years have been rough and I sure do let myself get bogged down in self-pity sometimes!!! Thank you for your compliments! I did have skin removal surgery, so if you ever want to chat about that or anything else, please let me know! I'm here for you! :))