I have held a steady weight for a year now. I had pretty quickly gained 35 pounds over two years. So I spent the last year just trying not to gain. I have succeeded. Now I want to lose. I try so hard to control myself and the harder I try, the more I lose control. Sure, picking up a bag of jellybeans could be seen as a binge. But I don't do that very often. Something on a daily basis keeps me at this weight. My lack of good food choices. Not exercising enough. Not sleeping enough. Picking up a bag of jellybeans every month or two isn't what's making me fat. According to Health At Every Size, you aren't necessarily unhealthy because you are fat and you aren't necessarily fat because you are unhealthy. Maybe I said that wrong. Just because you are fat doesn't mean you are a slob who doesn't take care of yourself. And just because you are skinny doesn't mean you are healthy and in shape. Maybe that's more correct.
Anyway, I was thinking about the difference between the two eating disorders I have. I found this blog about the difference: http://runchilde.wordpress.com/2007/05/28/30/
Compulsive overeating is characterised by an addiction to food. An individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their binging with purging behaviours such as fasting, laxative use or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry, spend excessive amounts of time and thought devoted to food, and secretly plan or fantasize about eating alone. Compulsive overeating almost always leads to weight gain and obesity, but not everyone who is obese is also a compulsive overeater.
In addition to binge eating, compulsive overeaters can also engage in grazing behaviour, during which they return to pick at food over and over throughout the day. This results in a large overall number of calories consumed even if the quantities eaten at any one time may be small. When a compulsive eater overeats primarily through binging, he or she can be said to have binge eating disorder. Where there is continuous overeating but no binging, then the sufferer has compulsive overeating disorder.
Another related post here:
Yeah, I am a grazer. I am working on it. I may spend the rest of my life working on it. What I don't need is advice from every Tom, Dick or Harry on how to lose weight and get in shape. I think I have spent less time in my life being unhappy with my own size and more time concerned that other people are unhappy with my size. Get over it! I have to do things my own way and very slowly. If I go for the quick fix, I end up gaining weight and am even more unhappy than when I started. Don't get me wrong. I very much consider myself a "fat and fit" girl. I guess if I didn't lose the 25-35 pounds that I would love to lose, I would be able to live my life just fine. I rarely have hip pain anymore and I feel stronger than I have in quite a few years. But I sure would like to take up a little less space in the world.
A lot of times I post about my trials and tribulations in the weight and diet department because I want to "shame" myself into stopping whatever I'm doing. That doesn't work. But what I have realized is that there are a lot of people out there in my shoes. And I want each and every single one of you to know that you aren't alone and you are beautiful and amazing just the way you are. Life doesn't start five pounds from now. So get out there and live!
|For the record, all of these ladies are beautiful...and most likely ALL are photoshopped!|