Wednesday, May 8, 2013

It's Been Awhile...Again

You don't realize how much stress affects your body until you're in the middle of it and you realize how unhealthy you're becoming. 

If you are my Facebook friend, it's no secret that my new job stresses me out.  I have spent the last seven months telling myself that I must not be re-integrating into an office well or I'm more sensitive or I'm just being stupid -- that no matter what, *I* must be doing something wrong to feel the way I do about this job.  But every single person that has sat at this exact desk has hated this job.  The last poor woman committed suicide (not saying the job is the only thing to blame, but I'm sure it didn't help her mental illness).  Perhaps it's not me and there IS something wrong with this job.  I have more and more things to do.  And less and less time to do it in.  I feel like I get exactly 10 minutes of time to myself every day.  It's taking its toll on me. 

So what does that mean for my well-being?  I am exhausted but can't sleep.  I'm taking sleeping pills but still waking up with crazy dreams many times during the night.  I don't feel like working out.  I don't feel like eating well.  Not that I need any excuses for either of those...I kinda don't like to eat well or exercise anyway but now I have a REASON.  Not really. 

On top of that, I am still dealing with this bone spur in my heel.  And it has gone from small aggravation to major pain in the...foot.  This morning, I was measured for orthotics.  My insurance covers the inserts but I get the pleasure of spening $300 to $400 on the TWO PAIR of ugly shoes they will go into.  Pain has a funny way of making you less able to deal with stress. 

So, I'm still here.  Fat.  Grumpy.  Tired.  But I'm still truckin'.  :-D  How is your life going?

3 comments:

  1. All sounds rather nasty... At least they are working on making the issues with your foot bearable. It definitely doesn't sound like it's you that's the problem at work... From my experience of a similar ever-expanding job description, you need to do something about it asap. Mine went on for years before I broke down at the doctors but still wouldn't let him sign me off, I was that worried about the mountain of work I'd come back to if he did! Go to your boss, or their boss and get it sorted...

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    1. I don't know if I could last years at this job. It sucks because I had hoped I found my "home" for the rest of my career. But I go home feeling crazy every night. It's not even the work. The work I can handle. The work I LOVE. I like being busy. But a couple of people are kind of hard to deal with. I was warned about one of them and it turns out that person is hardly the big problem...there's one person they completely forgot to mention and the combination is what is brutal. :-/

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  2. I can't possibly know all the factors you'd have to consider for this - but if at ALL possible, I hope you can find a way to make a large change in your job situation. I've toughed it out through stuff like that and I honestly feel that YEARS later I'm still paying for it emotionally. I seriously wish I had walked away much earlier. Since then, I've had a job or two that affected me similarly and I DID walk away earlier than before and it was amazingly worth it (though not pleasant to change jobs). Major hugs.

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