I am the self-proclaimed Northern California Pole Dance Ambassador. This blog is about pole dancing, weight loss surgery, health, fitness, aging gracefully, and life-in-general. I had gastric bypass in 2004 and lost 165 pounds. Pole dancing and yoga have helped me keep off the majority of the weight. I have struggled with my weight for my entire life and am on a journey of self-acceptance.
Geoffrey Miller, who specializes in evolutionary psychology, tweeted on
Sunday: 'Dear obese PhD applicants: If you don't have the willpower to
stop eating carbs, you won't have the willpower to do a dissertation.
#Truth, huh? No one with a few extra pounds has ever finished a dissertation and become a doctor? That's funny. My boyfriend is carrying around a few extra pounds and he finished his dissertation.
Miller is right, though. I mean, I don't know how lazy fat asses get up and face each day [please read the sarcasm here]. I know I certainly don't get up for cycle at 5:15 AM twice a week, or attend two to three weekly yoga classes. I couldn't possibly teach pole dance on Mondays or take a pole class on Saturdays. I don't commute two hours a day or work a full-time job. I don't constantly make plans on the weekend to see my friends, go to birthday parties or help with fundraisers. I don't do my own laundry, do the dishes, clean the house, grocery shop or run errands. My fat most definitely wouldn't allow me to do all of that. He would be one of those haters who whine about how fat people need to get off their asses and go to the gym so they aren't fat. Then would talk shit when he sees a fat person working out. We can't win.
As absurd as Miller's comment is, I actually don't mind when people out themselves as bigots. Now I know who to avoid. Chik-Fil-A hates gay people? Awesome. That's their choice. I choose not to eat there. Abercrombie hates fat, ugly people? Cool. I don't need to spend my money there (not that I could for myself, considering they don't make past like a size large for girls but I used to buy gift certificates for the teenagers in my life).
I know there are many arguments about why it is inappropriate and unacceptable for companies and public figures to make bigoted comments, but I feel like at least they are making themselves known. It's those sneaky bigots you need to watch out for.
You know the ones... They start with good intentions in their own mind. They tell you that you have such a pretty face (but are thinking: and such a fat ass...). When they try to set you up on dates with their friends, they go on and on about your amazing, sparkling, funny personality (which will undoubtedly make up for the horrible, ugly, fat body you're about to unleash on them). I don't need anyone to make excuses for me. There is a ton of shit wrong with me. My fat is not on that list.
Fat is fat. It's not a contest. I'm fatter than some people and some people are fatter than me. Someone in one of my fat acceptance groups on Facebook made a great comment and I feel like a fall into the same category. Not small enough to be considered "normal" sized but not large enough to be "BBW." I'm somewhere in the middle. Not always even accepted in the fat community (especially since I've had gastric bypass). Meaty. That's what I've taken to calling myself lately. I am aware that it's super annoying when someone who may have 10 pounds to lose (in their mind) walks around talking about how fat she is. I also know that even if you do "only" have "10 pounds to lose," it sucks to have tight clothes and feel uncomfortable. I do try to be wary that I'm not insulting anyone else while I'm talking about how my fat back biscuits are pissing me off. At the same time, me picking on my own fat isn't degrading anyone else or their fat. I don't need anyone to comment on my weight. It is my own issue. Don't point out I look chubby and certainly don't point out that I look skinny today. I'm no longer taking that as a compliment. For some reason, my fat thighs...meh, ok...jelly belly...meh, fine...but the back fat...wtf. Not a fan. But fat is fat and I try to talk about it as matter-of-factly as that. Oh look at this fat roll. Nope, not fishing for a "compliment" of "you're not THAT fat," just talking about how this particular fat roll is in my way for the moment. Oh look, I moved it and now it's no longer an issue.
I am also still using Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr to push #myfatwashere. Sometimes I take photos of myself around San Francisco and other parts of the Bay Area. Might be my face. Or my meaty arm. I may be riding BART. Possibly doing yoga at Grace Cathedral. I've even braved a couple of bikini shots (yeah I get it, I've had plastic surgery so my front parts don't look that "bad"). All photos are showing that my fat takes me all kinds of places. So if you're interested in joining the fat revolution of proving that fat people can do fun stuff, please feel free to use that hashtag. I have been checking up to see who is using it. I've only seen a few photos so far and I'd love to see more.
Anyway, thank you Geoffrey Miller for outing yourself as a fat bigot. If you ever do anything cool in your life, I'll make sure I continue ignoring you, just as I plan to do today (after this blog is posted, of course).