Friday, June 21, 2013

Surgery is on the books...

The surgery to deal with my bone spur is scheduled for August 8th.  I'm frustrated that it's so far away but realize it will be here before I know it.  I'm anxious to get back to my life and activity.  

I will be off work for about a month.  I work in a very interesting place.  No one really cares about anyone else.  No one notices if you dye your hair a crazy color.  And no one really gives a shit when you tell them you're going to be gone for a month.  Oh, except the person who is going to get the phone calls from the attorneys who are going to hate the temp that ends up at my desk.  It's kind of sad, really.  I've never worked somewhere that is so uncaring about its employees.  It actually works out to my advantage though, since that means I don't have to feel even a tiny bit guilty about not being here.  It works both ways.  Don't get me wrong.  There is a small group of people here that I like...but I would call them more like comfortable work acquaintances.  I don't have anyone's cell phone number and haven't gone out for drinks with any of them (save the MMA fight I did attend with some co-workers....it was a lot of fun and I kinda wish we did more things like that).  It's hard to like your job and be motivated to come to work when you don't care about many people there.

I froze my gym membership already.  Everything hurts my foot.  Cycle.  Yoga.  Even swimming.  But doing nothing hurts my foot as well.  I was having a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym when I was in pain for the majority of the time I was there.  No reason to keep paying for something I'm not using.  

I won't be able to go to therapy during my time off.  My therapist is in San Francisco.  I go on my lunch hour.  If I'm not going to work, I can't really BART into the city just for an appointment.  Maybe we can do a Skype sessions part of the way through my time off.  I really like my new therapist.  We have worked on some breathing techniques to help with the anxiety.  Now I'd like to fix my brain so I stop obsessively eating food.  I realize its a process but jeez, hurry it up!

I have already had to drop out of my Sean Michael pole class on Saturday.  This makes me the most sad because I really enjoy his class.  But my foot is just not having it.  I was ending up so swollen and in pain on Saturdays, so I figured if I have to wait another six weeks for surgery, and every day is a little worse, I need to be doing as much as possible to stay off my foot and keep the swelling down.  It looks like I'll be taking almost two months off from teaching.  I really enjoy teaching and I will miss my class.  A LOT.  I do hope this helps me come back and be an even better teacher.  It has been a few months since I have felt like I could even teach properly.  

It looks like I may be in a moon boot for the Pole Expo/Vegas trip in September.  This should be interesting.  I'm signed up for two classes.  One pole and one non-pole.  I have no idea if I'll be able to do either.  They are paid for, though, so I'm showing up.  If anything, it will be nice to get some activity and fun in right before I return to work.   

I've only gained about five pounds since this fun started last year.  However, I have gained three inches in my waist.  That's pretty frustrating.  Since I'm not exercising much, I'm trying to control my weight with food.  That's hard when stress and anxiety make you want to eat.  I guess the fact that I haven't put on 25 pounds of stress weight should be considered a victory. 

So I thought my surgeon would be removing the bone spur.  This is apparently not the case.  He said that is a much longer recovery.  He said he will be loosening the plantar fascia so that it no longer touches the bone spur in my heel.  He said in his entire career, he's only had to go back in and remove the bone spur once.  I sure hope he's right.  I'm tired of being in pain.  I want my life back!!!!!!  

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