Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years!

I often say events are life-changing.  What I probably meant was, "that was SO much fun!!!"  So while I may have had a lot of awesome events throughout my life, not every fun event is life-changing.  However, one event truly was life-changing for me.  It was however I met Ellen Lovelace.  I know we met because of pole dancing, and through her former studio, but I can't even really name the exact time and place.  Nor would I have had any idea the path on which we were suddenly placed on.  Ellen is my partner with NCPP and has been coaching me about my nutrition for a little over three months.  I really do feel like she is saving my life. 

The last few years were really dark ones for me.  And I finally feel like I see the light.  Not just with my weight.  With exercise.  With food.  With my job.  With my relationship.  With life in general.  I think if Ellen hadn't helped me see what sugar was doing to my insides, I would have eaten myself to death in a very short few years.  Now that I am eating healthier, I feel better.  I don't feel as much depression and anxiety dragging me down.  I haven't had to take allergy medication for three months!  I may have only lost about 18 pounds but I feel like I've lost 50.  And again, I haven't changed the number of calories I eat, I have only changed the quality of the foods I choose. 

thank you butt model, Seanmichael
Photo credit: http://www.liquidpulp.com/
If Ellen, like so many before her, had come to me and said, look, "you're going to give up sugar and bread and pretty much everything you like to eat, then you'll feel great," I would have told her to pound sand!  But she told me that I could start small.  I gave up the jelly beans in my desk at work.  Then suddenly, Vitamin Waters didn't taste good to me.  (I told people I would NEVER give up my Vitamin Waters!)  Then donut day at work wasn't as delicious.  These were all conclusions I came to on my own as I realized how eating crappy foods made me feel.  With the exception of a couple of times when I was really acting silly, she has never said, DON'T EAT THAT!  Don't get me wrong, I still pick up some sugar products on occasion.  But I am eating waaaaaay smaller portions waaaaaaaay less often.  And I feel great!

I am also excited about pole again and feel like I'm on the right track to do some of those moves I've been promising myself I will learn to do someday.  I am now only 15 pounds heavier than when I started poling four and a half years ago -- and I gurantee I have a lot more muscle this time.  Every year I claimed I would invert before the next Lovely Rita Fundraiser.  This time around, I may actually hit that goal.  Finally...only in time for the sixth event. 

So thank you again to Ellen for opening my eyes, and knowing the right way to do it.  My body and my liver especially thank you as well! 


  1. I can completely relate to this! :) The last couple of years have been really tough for me too and I'm now in recovery from an eating disorder and feeling really stable. In fact, I'd say I felt pretty amazing!! Food and eating is a confusing subject as we're bombarded with all these different messages as to what to eat and what is/isn't considered healthy. Sugar addiction is my nemesis! But eating clean isn't just about 'looking good', it's freaking fantastic for your mental health. The thing with food addictions is that unlike alcohol or drugs you can't just give up food and that's why I think it's one of the most difficult addictions to conquer. I've just started poletrition, I'd definitely recommend checking it out. Normally I would never go on diets because I just have no faith in them, and they do more harm than good. But this was a diet specifically for pole dancers, and I'm a sucker for anything pole dancing related. A few of my friends had recommended it and it's amazing! I'm so happy that you're finding a way out, I know how stressful it is to be stuck in a rut with that endless circle of depression and anxiety. Keeping going, stay strong. You got this.