This knee injury has been plaguing me for a month now. I believe what happened is that I hyper-extended it while doing the flexibility DVDs (you can read the first post on that HERE), then went to Twirly Girls to dance for an hour, and teach a two-and-a-half hour party. By the end of that night, I knew I wasn't okay. I've been limping along by icing and heating, taking cinnamon, using arnica and being extremely careful in yoga (I have to do some kind of movement). I haven't done the flexibility DVD in a month. I feel like the worst of the pain and swelling passed within a week or so. But one little wrong step or tweak puts me back in it. I am 95% better, but that 5% keeps me down. I can't climb the pole because it hits my knee in just the right (or wrong) spot. I can't hang from my knees in the lyra. I can't sit on my knees for any reason. I tried to just simply squat down on Monday and that actually put my recovery back at least another week. In fact, as I write this, I should be in class, but I am aching so much (let's blame the rain), that I don't want to chance hurting myself any further. I am supposed to teach a workshop in ten days so I am just trying to keep myself at this level until I get through that. Then I can fall apart. In fact, it is probably time to get myself to the doctor, but I know they're going to tell me to stop doing what I'm doing and I don't want to be told that.
All this being said, I don't feel like I've lost any strength. On the nights I have been able to get to class, I do get upside down. I haven't improved, but I haven't moved backwards. I can kind of get my knees driven upward, but Janet still has to tip me backwards. I also wonder if part of my problem is that I need a new goal. If the goal was simply to get myself upside down, I've done that. My goal never said: get upside down alone or gracefully or whatever. I also wonder what's the point? Just to say I do it? I don't see myself getting comfortable enough with it to suddenly start throwing it into routines. So, if I just simply wanted to be strong enough to throw my ass upside down, I did that. I am in the process of figuring out what I want out of pole. Is it to be strong? I haven't been taking any flow or dance classes, so I feel like I've lost a lot of that fluidity. I think I have a lot to figure out in the next month or so. I only have this one body and I don't want to be lazy but I also don't want to push myself into injuries that could be avoided if I just listened to my body. I mean, I can't even squat down to 90 degrees. I don't want to lose mobility, and I feel like that's happening at an alarming rate.So the whining is done. Here are some videos from the last two months.
Performing for Robert and Twirl for a Cause:
The day of the knee injury:
Bonus:
This is where I am pretty sure I hyper-extended my knee. I was doing the flexibility DVD and trying to take photos to show progress over the previous month. Someone on Facebook talked about yoga being the portal to hell and then a friend photoshopped this. So, it's kinda true. But the photo makes me laugh so I am sharing it here with you.
Made it back to class last week, although I was pretty limited on what I could do.
So, there you go. I really don't know what the future holds for my "pole career." I am trying to be kinder and gentler with myself in 2018. Judge myself less. Love myself more. And I don't know that pushing myself through injuries is honoring that. I guess I have a lot to decide, with no real deadline forcing me to make a decision. I will certainly let you all know what is coming next!
