How long will it take for pole dancing to go mainstream?

Sure, we are well on our way to pole dancing being accepted as a "legitimate" form of exercise (to those in the pole industry, it already is a legitimate form of dance and exercise).  So if I used my own Facebook page as an indicator, it definitely IS considered mainstream.  I realize that I have A LOT of pole friends.  When I'm out in the real world, I do still encounter "the look" when I tell people that I pole dance. 

That got me thinking...how long will it take for the rest of the world to accept us?  Sure, most of us don't care if we ever get accepted.  But, for our industry to thrive, we really do need mainstream corporate sponsors to start throwing money into our competitions.  We need studios to build strong competitors.  No, we don't ALL need to compete.  The majority of us can remain secret pole dancers.  But our industry does need competitions to survive. 

Here's my theory:  It will take about a generation.  As the children of today grow up watching their moms pole dance and be strong, it will become more accepted to pole dance for fun, fitness or any other reason.  Stripping will always be part of the history of pole dance.  You can't make that go away.  But as this generation grows up not being told that anyone who pole dances should be ashamed of themselves, the public in general will be able to accept us. 

Now, what's your theory?  How long do you think it will be before the general public stops giving us the once over when we tell them we pole dance?  Sure some people will never come around, but the balance has to shift at some point, right?

Oh, The Sexy Has Been Broughten...or Something Like That

Last week, I posted about UPA's Bringing Sexy Back Week.

Today, I present to you my video:



I believe that "sexy" means different things to different people.  I don't really think I embody the popular sense of the word.  But what makes me feel sexy is being comfortable in my own skin and being able to turn down the lights and dance like no one is watching.  This free dance was kind of hard for me because I had a few people in the studio watching while I taped it.  I also felt like I danced a little stronger in my first attempt, but I slipped a little during a spin then laughed, so I scrapped that one.  I taught class then filmed my second attempt between classes after I was all sweaty.  I was a little more tired but I also think that helped me slow down a little bit (and I feel like I still need to slow down even more).

There is a battle being waged on Facebook.  This week, I have seen Pink Pole Power's posts about bringing elegance daily.  I don't know if it is directly in response to UPA's Bringing Sexy Back Week, but the timing would indicate that it might be related.  (Side note: even though I started this sentence talking about waging war...I didn't mean to indicate that Pink Pole Power was the one waging the war.  I am referring to some conversations I've had with other people on Facebook.  No disrespect meant to PPP, I love them!)

My friend brought up on Facebook that she was tired of hearing about the pole fitness versus pole dancing debate.  She personally wasn't interested in the sexy side of pole dance but she liked that pole dance was versatile enough to embrace all types of dance.  But she also didn't like the debate because she thinks everyone should be accepted.  I don't want to blame the Olympics push, but there are definitely some groups that would like to see a little bit of a divide so that they can distance themselves from the strip club roots.  And I feel like this debate will continue to happen, along with other growing pains, as our industry becomes more mainstream.  There will be those who need and want pole dance to be more like gymnastics -- very tricks-based and not sexy whatsoever.  And there will be those who remember the roots of the sport -- and actually dancing around a pole. 

I am not saying there is not room for every kind of pole dance.  But I do not believe that this debate will be going away any time soon.

I know the quote from Claire at The Pole Story has also stirred some controversy:


If for some reason, the idea of your dancing being connected to the strip club scene is upsetting to you, if you desperately need to distance what you do from what those “other girls” do, if you truly believe that you are doing this because it’s just a really good workout, then I strongly suggest you spend some time thinking about why you chose pole dancing.  Because there are a million ways to get fit without putting on six inch stilettos, a bikini and swinging sensually around a pole.

So what about those girls who don't wear six inch stilettos and tiny bikinis?  What if you don't dance "sexy" at all?  While I understand that dancing in shoes, or dancing sexy in general, is not for everyone, I don't believe Claire means specifically that every single pole dancer has or will strap on six inch stilettos and dance like a stripper from a rap video (and, I am not speaking for Claire here, I am only telling you how *I* took her quote).  To me, she is saying, if the stigma attached to pole dancing bothers you so much, maybe you should find another source for exercise.  

So the debate continues.  I know I am instigating it by continuing to write about it.  But the topic interests me and the number of people reading these posts seems to indicate they are interested as well.

Please tell me how you feel about the debate.  Be kind to your fellow pole dancers, though!  Every type of pole dancing is accepted here!

Ummmm....I'm a Pole ARTIST

Continuing with the pole dancer versus stripper debate...  Get caught up here:  http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2012/01/stripper-versus-pole-dancer-debate.html

A couple of weeks ago, Twirly Girls were part of a local radio show's live event [http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2012/02/twirly-girls-at-sarah-vinnie-secret.html].  Going into the event, I knew the "stripper thing" was going to come up.  The general public associates pole dancing with stripping.  As we know, one can mean the other.  But it doesn't have to.  I warned the girls that the topic would most likely come up.  I figured it would be mostly in good fun since Sarah and Vinnie have an entertainment show to put on.  It did come up and the S&V show felt like one of our girls in particular was a little bitter in her response.  I didn't think she actually came across bitter or mad, but I know her and they don't, so maybe that's why the disconnect happened.  Either way...on the radio a day or two later, they made the point that we are all swinging on a stripper pole, so we shouldn't be that shocked when the subject came up.  

In my mind, they are right.

Are you a stripper?  A pole dancer?  A pole fitness enthusiast?  A pole artist?  There are many names for what we do.  And there's nothing wrong with being any one of those things, or all of them.  But when someone says to you, "oh you pole dance?!"  Are you the first to say, "but I'm not a stripper!"?

Now this is where I get stuck.  If someone comes at me with the whole, "oooh, so you're a stripper, right?" thing, I usually respond with, "If I had a nicer body and a little more rhythm, I'd definitely consider it!"  But I also grew up in a religious home where acting out and being a little naughty held some appeal.  I've also spent many years learning how to ignore those who tried to make me feel bad about myself or guilty for things that I do.  I sometimes forget not everyone has had that kind of life training. 

I don't want to disconnect from my pole community either.  If it is offensive to some to be called a stripper, am I belittling them by telling them to get over it?  On the other hand, do we owe it to the "pole fitness" community to explain to the general public that there is a bit of a difference between stripping for dollars and taking classes at a pole fitness studio?  Granted, I like working out and feeling stronger but I really enjoy putting on "stripper heels" and cute clothes too.  

In my mind, I say, take me or leave me...I owe you no explanation for anything I do or say.  However, I feel like some of my pole sisters may feel like I am not hearing them or taking their feelings into account. 

At the end of the day, regardless of the words we use to describe what we do, we're still doing it -- swinging around a pole.  And, it's like some of us are almost waiting for the fight...waiting for that outsider to bring up pole dancing, daring them to call us a stripper, so we can attack and explain that we are pole artistes!  We should not be ashamed of what we do.  I feel like if we make excuses and try to distance ourselves from stripping, it almost becomes, "we doth protest too much..."   

It seems like a lot of the negativity and disharmony comes from WITHIN our own pole dancing community. Some spend so much time debating the words we should use to describe what we do -- and even more time judging other dancers in the industry.  I think we need to first band together, then we can worry about what the outsiders think.

At the end of the day, a person who will judge you for pole dancing, doesn't care if you're a stripper or not.  They will judge you the same.  So why not hold your head high and proudly proclaim:  YES, I AM A POLE DANCER [or insert your favorite term here]!  That's what I plan to do. 

The "stripper" versus "pole dancer" debate

So one of the questions I have asked in the past of my blog interviewees is what they think about the "stripper vs. pole fitness debate."  It is clear that some people are very comfortable with pole dancing being associated with stripping and/or their sexuality (and sensuality??  I think I need to do a little soul searching to make sure I truly understand the difference between those words!!).  It is also clear that some people are trying to distance themselves and talk about the fitness, acrobatic and strength side of pole fitness.  

Does it mean that strippers or pole dancers aren't also into pole fitness?

Here are a couple of my past posts on the subject:

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/03/when-i-grow-up-i-wanna-be-stripper.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/02/strippers-get-breast-cancer-too.html

I feel like I have been caught with my pants down on occasion on this subject.  Not because I haven't chosen a side, but because I don't HAVE a side.  I have never stripped but I am not against strippers.  However, at the same time, clearly society's negative view of stripping occasionally may creep into my words because some people have taken things I have written as negative comments against strippers.  

Example:  I wrote this blog for The Pole Dancing Shop:  http://www.thepoledancingshop.com/pole-dancing-and-your-significant-other/#.TxBrtIHnuSo

The post is about presenting your decision to begin pole dancing to a partner who may be concerned or jealous.  My comment was:  "If they are stuck on the 'stripper thing,' try to move past it by saying that you have no intentions of becoming a stripper, and that this adventure is about you finding your sexy side and building your own confidence."  One person ripped the post for being anti-stripper.  I felt bad because that wasn't my intention but it is certainly true that a lot of people in society associate pole dancing with stripping and that can cause a problem in some relationships.  I am not making a judgment about whether it is wrong or right, but it is what it is.  

I tried to make amends by writing another post for The Pole Dancing Shop:  http://www.thepoledancingshop.com/a-brief-history-of-pole-dance/#.TxBqJ4HnuSo

In it, I included my very favorite quote from Claire of The Pole Story:  "If for some reason, the idea of your dancing being connected to the strip club scene is upsetting to you, if you desperately need to distance what you do from what those 'other girls' do, if you truly believe that you are doing this because it’s just a really good workout, then I strongly suggest you spend some time thinking about why you chose pole dancing.  Because there are a million ways to get fit without putting on six inch stilettos, a bikini and swinging sensually around a pole."   So then some of the anti-stripper people jumped in to comment that they were different from strippers because they didn't take their clothes off.

*sigh*  I just can't win so I should stop while I'm ahead. 

Then last night I read Michelle Shimmy's first blog post about having thick skin:  http://shimmypolediary.blogspot.com/2012/01/first-blog-ever-thick-skin.html  

One thing I took away from the post was that I cannot make everyone happy all of the time (of which I was aware but clearly needed to be reminded).  But this quote in particular struck a chord in me:  It's completely normal that not everyone will like what you do. As the pole movement gains momentum, and new skills are created, it's going to get harder and harder to impress people. People will become more discerning, and competitive. Sometimes, people will comment on other people's style of dance as a way of defining their own style. An example of this is a traditional "sexy" pole dancer saying she doesn't like contemporary pole, or a former ballerina saying she hates body rolls and hair flicks. What they're really saying is that they've adopted a particular style as their favourite way to pole dance, to the exclusion of other styles. That's ok too - there's room enough in the pole world for many different ways of pole dancing, and it's quite exciting to see new styles develop and change.

She's right!  There is room for EVERY kind of style.  You can be a pole dancer, an aerial artist, a pole fitness fanatic, or a stripper...whatever you want!  You can love to dance to classical music or hard rock music.  You can focus on amazing tricks or sexy floor work.  You can do whatever you want because THAT is the beauty of ART.  Dance is art.  And you are the artist.  Your art may not be beautiful to someone else, but as long as you're happy, that is all that matters.

Until next time, lovelies, happy twirling!