Sugar or Eating Disorder?

Let's play a game.  It's called "sugar or eating disorder."  I have been a compulsive overeater for pretty much my entire life.  I am more of a grazer than a binge eater.  No disappearing into the closet to consume an entire pizza and half a cake for me, thankyouverymuch.  It doesn't mean that I didn't/don't have disordered eating though.  For a long time, I just didn't realize that not being a binger didn't mean I didn't have food issues (that's a lot of "didn'ts" -- sorry!).  It does mean I would have the compulsion to put food in my mouth pretty much every other minute of every single day.  When I wasn't eating, I was deciding what I would eat next.  It literally took all of my energy figuring out all my food stuff.  [You can read more on my sugar adventure HERE.]



Silly monkey, eat the right food!

So fast forward to now.  I'm almost three months in to following Ellen's eating advice.  She never took anything away from me.  She just made some suggestions and let me follow my own path.  Sugar makes you tired?  Hey, maybe you shouldn't eat that!  Suddenly, less sugar was making me more tired.  Maybe cut down some more!  Then suddenly, now if I eat too much sugar, I get a blinding headache.  All in the span of about two months.  But I never felt like Ellen told me I couldn't eat sugar.  I just started making the choice not to eat something that made me feel like shit.  In fact, at Ellen's birthday over the weekend, I ate about one-quarter of a cupcake and it was too much for me (at least I only got sweaty and tired, I didn't get the headache, but I stopped because I knew my limit).  This coming from a girl who could at least eat one entire cupcake only three months ago.  It didn't take my body long to celebrate the loss of a "food source" it didn't need and start reminding me not to eat it whenever I did.  I've lost about 15 pounds, and that's all from changing the foods I eat, not reducing the calories I eat. 

Yesterday I was listening to a podcast from the 2nd Annual Eating Psychology Online Conference.  He was interviewing a woman about eating disorders.  Granted, they were mostly talking about binge eating disorder, but other disorders were mentioned, and I realized something I hadn't noticed before -- I don't feel that way at all anymore.  No constant compulsion to eat anything and everything at all hours of the day.  I'm not rabidly searching my shelves for sugary snacks at work.  I don't think about what I'm going to eat next as I am eating my current meal/snack.  I actually now have defined meals and snacks instead of leaving food on my desk and literally munching all day long.  I certainly still have A LOT to learn about what to eat and when to eat (just because I work so much and have too many side activities), but I am now eating because my stomach is hungry, not because my head told me I needed to eat.  I am also still making the majority of my meals at home, I have cut out fast food almost completely, and when I do eat out, I am making better choices for myself.  Also -- and this is huge -- when stress hits me, jellybeans are no longer my first thought.

I pondered whether I ever had an eating disorder at all, or if the sugar was just always controlling me. 

I guess that in itself is probably an eating disorder, or at least disordered eating -- whatever you feel comfortable calling it.  And I certainly felt like I transferred addictions after gastric bypass [HERE is another post you can read on the subject].  When I couldn't eat, I shopped.  When I couldn't shop anymore, I started eating again and gained weight.  I took anti-depressants and gained more weight.  I tried diet products and gained even more weight.  But all of that could still have been fueled by too much sugar and processed food in my diet (including the "necessity" of the anti-depressants, which are terrible for my body).  I guess I'll never truly know.  I have so many health issues related to gastric bypass and my food choices.  I can honestly say I probably would not have lived into my 80's or 90's like my grandmothers before me if Ellen had not intervened.  I realize none of us know when our time will come but now I at least feel like I have a fighting chance.  I will be forever grateful to Ellen for sending me down the right path in the food department. 

So saying I never had an eating disorder or have now been cured of one might be dangerous but I certainly do feel better about my life in general since cutting down on sugar.  If you have had similar experiences with sugar, please share them with me.  I love hearing from all of you!

Long term weight loss almost impossible...

Recently, I read an article on CBC News.  The title:  "Obesity research confirms long-term weight loss almost impossible."  (Side note: there is A LOT I find wrong with that article but just wanted to use it to start a conversation.)  FINALLY!  People are saying this out loud.  I posted it on Facebook and someone immediately stated that they aren't inclined to believe it until they see it published in a medical journal.  I don't need to see it published anywhere.  I can just look around and see that it appears to be true.  People who try to lose weight very often gain it back, plus some.  I have played the game for my entire life.  This can't just be that all fatties have no willpower. 

We all think we know someone in that rare group. They become the legends — the friend of a friend, the brother-in-law, the neighbour — the ones who really did it.

But if we check back after five or 10 years, there's a good chance they will have put the weight back on. Only about five per cent of people who try to lose weight ultimately succeed, according to the research. Those people are the outliers, but we cling to their stories as proof that losing weight is possible.

"Those kinds of stories really keep the myth alive," says University of Alberta professor Tim Caulfield, who researches and writes about health misconceptions. "You have this confirmation bias going on where people point to these very specific examples as if it's proof. But in fact those are really exceptions."

*****

"An appropriate rebalancing of the primal needs of humans with food availability is essential," University of Oxford epidemiologist Klim McPherson wrote in a Lancet commentary following last week's study. But to do that, he suggested, "would entail curtailing many aspects of production and marketing for food industries."

Perhaps, though, the emerging scientific reality should also be made clear, so we can navigate this obesogenic world armed with the stark truth — that we are held hostage to our biology, which is adapted to gain weight, an old evolutionary advantage that has become a dangerous metabolic liability.

When they say that five percent of people who lose weight succeed, they are also saying that 95% of them fail!  But the diet industry keeps raking in those billions, promising quick weight loss.  And we all just keep sending them our money.  I personally feel like all that yo-yo dieting is way more dangerous than just being fat. 

Here I am, a woman in her late 30's, who has battled her weight for pretty much her entire life.  I started getting chubby at age 12.  I was considered obese by my late teens/early 20's.  I did phen fen.  I did Slim Fast.  I did Weight Watchers.  Yet every year, I was somehow a little fatter.  At my heaviest weight -- 350 pounds -- I did decide to have gastric bypass/weight loss surgery.  I lost 165 pounds.  I didn't come out thin and healthy, though.  In fact, I ended up with more health problems than when I was fat.  And then the weight started creeping on again.  So I started over-exercising to take it off.  I got back down to 200 pounds.  Then I started taking a medication that jump started the weight gain again.  I had gotten back up to 263 pounds.  Now I'm 252 pounds.  And rather than battle my body, I'm focusing on eating right and getting proper exercise.  So, even though weight loss is not my focus, it is still happening.  I want to say that this time, it truly is a lifestyle change and there will not be another episode of weight gain.  But I would have told you that at least three times before...yet here I stand.

I would truly like to believe that I can have Health At Every Size.  But my blood tests tell me I'm not fully healthy.  If sugar is causing inflammation in my body, and I stop eating sugar and lose some weight and my CRP comes down, wouldn't that potentially indicate that maybe *I* can't have health at EVERY size?  I don't know.  I am only speaking about my own situation.  Everyone has their own life to deal with. 

So I am continuing with my quest to eat right and exercise.  I have had some emotional times in the last few weeks and it was actually pretty rough not to turn to my sugary treats.  I gave in once and bought a box of Mike N Ike's, but I'm back on track.  I feel so much better when I leave the sugar alone.  I am always searching for new recipes to try though.  If anyone has any yummy recipes to share, please post them in the comments below!