This blog blossomed in 2010 to chronicle my adventures in pole dance after weight loss surgery. Although I am pole dancing less these days, I still hike and do yoga. I sometimes still have to remind myself that the size of my body doesn't dictate my worth. I believe living a life full of gratitude and joy helps lead to a true mind, body and spirit connection. You have the power to manifest your best life!
Last night I was at Twirly Girls. Bel was asking us to put together short strings of moves. A twirl, a sway, a transition...Two twirls, three transitions...etc.
Deer in headlights.
It's like I had never pole danced before. I forgot all the moves and their names. I felt clumsy and stupid. I have been doing this for almost two years. I am just being silly at this point.
I have been SO excited and passionate about pole dancing lately but I realized I've been passionate about WATCHING other people pole dance. I am dealing with weight gain and feeling slow and fat and unsexy.
Bel gave us homework...to go through our different levels and put together a routine she can call out for the entire class to do next week. I'm really excited about it and I'm re-committed to being a dancer and getting stronger. I am great at being silly and half-assing moves. I want to be great at doing the moves the way they're supposed to be done.
It used to be you'd almost never see me without make-up or with my glasses on. Now it's a rare day I take the time to put my make-up on or dry my hair.
I appreciate having a job but I really hate the days I have to commute.
Day 37:
Thursday, July 21
Thursday was a terrible day so I'm using a photo from Wednesday. I'm housesitting for a very old and sick dog. I had to skip Twirly Girls to go home and give her a bath. She's having a hard time holding her bladder and she was starting to smell like ammonia. She was very sweet in the shower...she laid there and soaked like she was having a spa day.
Day 38:
Friday, July 22
Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. Right, Kati?
Joined the Harry Potter nerds (Rita, Jimmy and others) for the midnight showing of the final movie. I was "dirty Hermione." I had a lot of fun!
Day 31:
Friday, July 15
I took the day off work but had a birthday happy hour for my boss in Oakland. I rode BART alone like a big kid!
Day 32:
Saturday, July 16
I started a housesitting job. Three black labs. This is Meg and Molly. They are crazy but fun. Not pictured is Maggie, who is 17 years old and having a hard time getting around.
Day 33:
Sunday, July 17
I walked 6.2 miles (a 10k) with Jimmy, Yolanda, Kristin and many other friends. Jimmy said if he raised $5,000, he would walk it in heels. Well, he raised almost $8,000. And he walked every inch in those red heels (and made the news). I can't even imagine walking a few feet in them!
Day 34:
Monday, July 18
Back to the grind. This is my view driving to work. I only get a glimpse of the ocean and San Francisco for a second, but on a clear day, I love it.
So my insurance approved me for a medication called Enbrel. It's a weekly injection that you give yourself to help control psoriasis. It is also used to treat a couple of types of arthritis. It works by lowering your immune system. Psoriasis is like having an amped up immune system -- to the point that your own immune system starts attacking your body and you end up with plaques where skin starts growing too fast. I won't lie -- I'm a little nervous. They say that you don't usually get sick more often...you just might stay sick a little longer if you do get sick. But I'm desperate so I'll try it. The patches on my face are especially bothering me. I had to get tested for tuberculosis, HIV and Hepatitis B before I was approved. Rob works somewhere that puts him at a higher risk for TB, so I guess I have to hope he doesn't bring it home because I will be more likely to catch it now.
I am hoping this will clear up my psoriasis. I recognize that this is mostly for vanity. I'm not contagious but I certainly feel like people look at me like I am. People constantly ask me what it is. I think you take the series of shots for a year or more. But I have heard that some people will have clear skin for years past that. I am keeping good thoughts that it will work for me with as few side effects as possible.
I went to Trader Joe's today and saw a little boy coming out of the ice cream store next door. He wasn't quite big enough to push the door open himself and his doggie was on the other side of the door jumping excitedly. Their noses would have been touching if the glass hadn't been there. I couldn't get a photo of that fast enough because the little boy's mom came over and let him out. But as he ran over to get the dog's leash, I thought it was still a cute picture.
I performed 8 Miles Wide with a special Bitch Pudding intro to celebrate Jimmy's birthday on Friday at Twirly Girls. Photo is courtesy of Andrew at Liquidpulp Photography.
Day 25:
Saturday, July 9
This is Melody and me (and Rita being silly) at Poletential's Air Show on Saturday. Photo is courtesy of Melody. Shockingly, I took very few photos that night.
Day 26:
Sunday, July 10
On Sunday, I put my bathingsuit on, then laid around all day and did nothing. I was tired. I'm always tired. :-)
Day 27:
Monday, July 11
This morning, I got out of bed at 5:30 a.m. and went to the gym -- all because of the cube girls at the Poletential Air Show. So cool. I want to do that!
On Saturday, I joined some of the Twirly Girls at Poletential's Air Show. It was AMAZING. They had some of their students perform. Then they had performances by Jenyne Butterfly, Alethea Austin, Natasha Wang, Amber Richard and Rebecca Starr. I videoed using my iPhone. Apparently it malfunctioned and I didn't get some of the awesome performances. However, Melody saved the day and is uploading her videos too!
Natasha Wang is the recent winner of the USPDF competition. She is so beautiful and sweet. I had sent her a video of me doing her "toe slide" and she remembered me! I was so excited to meet her. I was also excited to meet Amber Richard. She is tall like me (although thin and in MUCH better shape). Still, we had chatted on Facebook about being a tall pole dancer. She also remembered me and it was really cool to meet her in person.
In addition to the pros, some of the students performed with aerial silks and a cube. The cube girls were EFFING AWESOME!!!!!!!! So strong and beautiful (and did it blindfolded). Of course, that was one of the videos my phone didn't record properly. :-( I am still hoping to find someone else's video to share!!
Here is my video of Jenyne Butterfly. If you surf around my channel, you'll see the other videos I posted.
Amber Richard:
Melody's videos are on Facebook, so if you are interested in seeing them, add me and I'll send them along.
Additional video I found on YouTube from the show:
Back row: Lori (me), Alethea Austin, Daisy, Jenyne Butterfly, Amber Richard, Gina, Yolanda.
Front row: Rita, Bel, Melody.
Thanks for a fun night, oh ladies du le pole (probably bad form, huh)! You were all amazing!!!!!!!!!
Here's an amazing P.S.: The cube trio performance. Seriously, I got out of bed early for the first time in weeks to go to the gym because I WANT TO DO THIS!
I went to the Rihanna concert in Oakland with Rita, Kate, Katia, Kira and other friends. We had box seats and VIP treatment. What an amazing concert. Rihanna is SO gorgeous and sings just as beautifully live as she does on her album. I had such a great time. Live music is my THING. I miss it. I just can't stand up for hours on end so having box seats was so perfect.
Bel has been telling me I need to get my psoriatic ass to the ocean for some salt water therapy. So I took a day off and went to take a dip in Moss Beach. The water was freezing ass cold so I really just kind of splashed myself with it. It looks a little better but I'm not exactly cured.
My dad was visiting from Texas so we met in Brentwood for dinner. Afterward, we went to see the Last family home that burned down last November (my mom's parents' home). After almost nine months, they finally tore it down the rest of the way. It was very eerie to see just foundation. I could still see the house in my mind.
I went floating down the American River with some friends to celebrate Yolanda's birthday. I came prepared with my water shoes, a rubber raft, some food and drink. And my gun. You can't be too careful. Oh yeah, and don't forget my flotation devices. I'm seriously starting to hate those things.
Day 20:
Monday, July 4
Rob and I went to Gilroy to see my mom's "new" house. She's only lived down there since January. We BBQ'ed and ate lots of great food with the family. We played with the dogs and kitties and watched Kati and Melissa ride horses. All in all, it was a pretty good day. This picture is me with good old Hank (he's not old, he's 2...but he is just a gigantic, slow, dumb dog). And he's a slobbery ass dog. I love him. :-)