Mo' Injuries, Mo' Problems

So, I mentioned how, at Pole Expo, I'd flipped out of the Fly Gym and smashed myself up pretty well.  Although my toe was super bruised, and I thought possibly broken, my first and biggest worry when it first happened was the crack I heard in my neck. 

First off, I did have my foot x-rayed.  There was no break.  Although there's not much that can be done for broken toes (other than taping, usually), my doctor was concerned that the metatarsal may have been broken based on the level of bruising and swelling.  Although everything ended up being fine (well, "fine" as in, "not broken"), over two weeks later, my left foot is still swollen and my second toe hurts like a bitch all the time.  I imagine that constantly walking on it with a body weighing 240 pounds doesn't give much rest to tiny toesies.  I have another doctor's appointment this week and will probably start icing the foot to get swelling down.  I just barely got over my last foot problem (other foot, at least).  I don't need to go through this again. 



One creepy, bony foot; one swollen foot

Next issue:  that sickening crack I heard in my spine when I hit the floor.  The first doctor's appointment after Pole Expo was to deal with the toe.  The purple bruising was pretty fantastic, and everything else was just vaguely sore.  When I went in the next week (which was last week), my doctor asked how I felt.  I said, well it's weird but I feel this pinch and pain down my entire leg.  He said, I was worried about that!  He also said he was surprised I wasn't in even more pain.  Well, now that he's mentioned it, I *am* in a ton of pain! 

My doctor said that most likely I ruptured a disc when I fell and it was swollen and pinching a nerve.  He said to be careful about my arms (potentially indicates ruptured disc in neck) or legs (potentially indicates ruptured disc in lower back) falling asleep, because that could mean we have a larger issue (or worse injury than we thought).  At that point, maybe I will need an MRI??  Well, I'm sure its psychosomatic like the previously reported increased pain, but suddenly this weekend, I had several instances where my arms or legs went to sleep.  In fact, when I got up on a massage table yesterday, there was a pillow under my feet and the angle almost immediately put my legs to sleep.  I had to move it and shake my legs out and I was fine within seconds.  It was scary though.  And I'm still wondering if it is mostly in my mind. 

Apparently the next six weeks are critical (well, the next four weeks since two weeks have already passed).  I am supposed to be taking it very easy in the workout department.  No lifting of heavy things, which means no spotting during pole class.  I also need to be careful about back bending.  I haven't been to yoga in a couple of weeks (mostly because my toes hurt in positions like downward dog) but did do a very gentle Fly Gym class with Ginger last week, which felt great.  My doctor said this type of injury is usually too deep to ice but I have been icing my back and hip on occasion anyway.  I did a lot of walking and sitting while driving this weekend, and have low pain this morning, surprisingly.  This morning, in fact, my left hip is completely pain-free for the first time in years (thanks to the myofascial release).  The rest of my leg is slightly throbbing, however.

I feel like I will never get ahead.  As soon as I'm ready to start kicking ass and taking names, I get pushed down in the dirt.  I have another doctor's appointment this week.  I will mention the sleepy arms and legs, but am still feeling a little crazy that I didn't notice it until he mentioned it.  My goals at this point are to figure out how to be kind to my body without letting all my progress go by the wayside.

How do you deal with injuries?  I don't want to injure myself permanently, but if I stop exercising every time I'm hurt, I will essentially never exercise.  If you have any advice, please leave it in the comments below! 

Out With The Old: Calories-in Versus Calories-Out

Calories-in, calories-out.  Lose weight.  Gain weight.  You eat.  You exercise.  It's all connected.  Then they say it isn't.  But it has to be a little bit, right???  Otherwise gastric bypass surgery wouldn't work at all. 

I have been doing ALL the stuff.  (You can read that blog HERE.)  I'm eating so much better than I used to.  Almost no fast food (maybe twice in the last few months and those were salads from Wendy's -- my favorite!).  I have cut my sugar intake drastically.  Jellybeans?  Gone!  Vitamin Waters?  Gone!  Donut day?!  Gone (well I have taken a couple of bites here and there but I am not eating them every Friday)!  I'm making the majority of my food at home.  I'm reading labels.  I'M PUTTING SHIT BACK ON THE SHELF WHEN IT DOESN'T HAVE WHAT I NEED!  Who am I?! 

But where's all my weight loss?  I know.  I know.  I didn't do this to lose weight!  I am doing it to get healthy after years of having a horrible relationship with food and my body.  And, sure, there are a lot of good things going on -- I feel great, and am actually requiring less food.  After two weeks of returning home each evening with the afternoon snack I would pack for work, today I finally decided to stop bringing an afternoon snack.  Ellen says this means I'm making better food choices that are sustaining me longer.  YAY! 

I read a couple of articles about calories and why eating real food doesn't equate to weight loss, so I wanted to talk about them. 

For years I made the argument that a calorie was a calorie.  And why did anyone care if I chose my calories to be ice cream and cake instead of fruits and vegetables?  But now I know that is not the truth.  Besides the fact that ice cream and cake take up less room, so they are less filling with more calories, there are VITAL vitamins you get from eating fresh fruits and veggies.  Here are some great tidbits from THIS article:

"Thinking that all calories are the same is an antiquated notion. Granted, by definition calories represent units of energy provided by a particular food, but thinking they’re all alike is like saying a diamond and a rhinestone are the same because they both glitter. With calories, as with diamonds, it’s the quality that matters most and enhances their value."

"So what’s the work-around? Trade hunger, calorie-counting and denial, for filling, nutrient-dense, organic or local produce, poultry, pasture-raised meats and wild fish. Eat them until you are full, not until you’ve hit some abstract, virtually meaningless magic number. By eating these kinds of foods, your body will tell you when you’ve had enough. Eating refined carbs like wheat, grains and sugar—the crystal meth of the supermarket aisle—never will."

I personally still choose to track my food.  Mostly because I'm trying to make that stupid pie chart hit the 40-30-30 mark (40% carbs, 30% fat, 30% protein).  But I am hitting my calorie goal each day without trying.  I don't feel like I'm dieting.  In fact, I feel like I'm eating better than ever!  I am also eating close to a 50% fat diet since starting with Ellen's nutritional program in early May (good fats like coconut oil, nuts and olive oil) and have lost almost four pounds in the last two months.  I know.  That doesn't sound like a lot, but I don't lose weight quickly.  Ever.  My body has always done this bounce around thing.  Up 4 pounds.  Down 5.  Up 3.  Down 2.  Up 4.  Down 6.  It's crazy.  I am no longer bouncing around and am now consistently losing small amounts of weight each week.  And I am at my lowest weight in almost two years (my highest weight last year after foot surgery was 263 pounds.  I am now down to 252 pounds). 

I was also reading THIS article about why eating real food might not equate to weight loss.  I do take issue with her blaming obesity on certain diseases.  I like something Ellen posted in our Balanced Table group.  It is poor diet choices (processed food, sugar, etc.) causing Type 2 Diabetes, heart attacks, cancer, etc.  Not obesity.  What do they say?  Correlation not causation?  Anyway, I think the article still contains some good information.  Reasons you might not be losing weight?

Digestion: "Weight loss will not happen if the body is malnourished and unhealthy. That’s the least concern of the body, therefore it will focus on repairing and bringing down the inflammation before it even thinks of shrinking fat cells, especially if it doesn’t have the proper energy to do so."

Food sensitivities: "The good news is sensitivities are not allergies and can be reversed, but this requires eliminating certain foods that an individual may be reacting to for a period of time while their body heals."

Yeast overgrowth: "Correcting imbalances can diminish cravings for sugar and sweets, improves digestion and absorption of nutrients, and reduces the amount of toxins the body is exposed to."

Stress: "This is directly linked to maintaining healthy adrenal function which regulates cortisol levels, sex hormones (which is another underlying cause of weight gain), and of course adrenaline and epinephrine- which put you in a state of fight or flight. Stress eats up B vitamins, Magnesium, hinders digestion, and causes imbalances in blood sugar that cause the adrenals to work overtime."

Toxin overload: "Bottom line, we must limit our exposure as much as possible, and more importantly, take a pro active approach to support our body’s ability to decongest and rid these toxins properly to get the stress off our detoxification organs (i.e. LIVER!). The body can then focus on ridding toxins from fat cells which is where they accumulate!"

Dysfunction of the master glands: "Making sure adequate amounts of amino acids are being utilized and getting enough essential fatty acids, along with a diet rich in vitamins and minerals is crucial for support. Possible cause of the weakening of these master glands can include a diet high in sugar, refined carbohydrates, digestive problems, stress, and even heavy metal toxicity."

So the adventure continues to regain my health through better food choices.  I am also working hard on being strong.  Lots of yoga, pole and cycle.  Next year, my test scores better be perfect!!!

My first Bodybinds post!

My first article for Bodybinds went up yesterday! I understand it may be a little less risque than the bb crowd is used to but I do feel that keeping your body in shape helps us all feel a little more sexy! 

 "If you are looking for a well-rounded work-out and want to get the most bang for your buck, then an option worth exploring is yoga. Depending on the type of class you choose, you may be able to combine weight training (using your own body weight), cardio (flow) and stretching in a single class."

Read the rest of the post HERE.

The Psoriasis-Humira Conundrum

I've been watching too much Big Bang Theory.  I freakin' love that show.  I just ordered a bunch of books off Amazon to help me learn bigger, cooler, nerdier words.  :-)

So I'm on here whining about my psoriasis about once a month, I guess.  I first started Enbrel shots in late July.  This was supposed to be the miracle drug.  You shoot yourself up, suppress your own immune system, and VOILA!  Clear skin!  You can check out my two-week update which includes photos here:

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/08/enbrel-and-psoriasis-two-week-update.html

That wasn't working for me so my doctor then changed me to Humira.  Let's see if we can make you even more tired and apt to catch colds....all in the name of beautiful skin!  You can read that October post here:

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/10/psoriasis-and-humira.html

So now I am four months into the Humira shots.  Sure, my skin is clear-er than it was.  But its not completely clear.  At my last appointment (barely two weeks ago), my doctor brought up the possibility of taking another step up and trying a drug that really has only been around for a couple of years.  You can read about that here:

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2012/01/found-motivation.html

So basically, be an experimental rat.  I'm thinking no thanks.  You want to know when my skin was at its best?  When I was thinner.  So I am going to stick to this Paleo plan, the Twirly Tuff workout and probably just stop taking the medication altogether.

I am going to include a couple of recent photos.  From the pictures, it looks pretty clear.  But a lot of the skin is still rough and some days, its redder than others.  I really have not had a break-out this bad since before my weight loss.  So I have to believe that losing weight is the key -- not drugging myself up.

And here's a picture from June 2011:

Progress?  Yes.  Full victory?  Not yet.

Learning to Teach

Bel recently brought up the idea of me teaching a non-pole class.  She calls it Femme Fatale (a cardio burlesque type dance/exercise class).  At first I was STOKED.   What better way to "force" myself to do cardio than to be required to show up and teach it?!  We haven't talked details.  I don't know if it will be a one-time workshop or a regular class one day, two days, three days a week?  It's the holidays so we have some time to work that out.  But I thought, well I should jump on this.  I downloaded a bunch of music.  I wrote down the 8 counts in each song.  I had an app figured out the beats per minute.  I started thinking of routines in my head.  Of course, as a jazzerciser from way back in the day, I'm thinking of a combo of some cardio with a few strengthen moves in there is the best idea.  I bought a binder so I can type my routines out and bring them with me but I don't want to be staring at a binder the entire time. 

Then all of these questions started swirling in my little pea brain and I haven't been able to sleep.  Choreographing ONE four minute pole routine is hard.  How will I choreograph an entire hour of routines?  How will I remember it all?  I have been a gym student my entire life...can I switch to teacher mode and start giving cues ahead of time??  If this ends up being a regular class, how often should I change it up?  Should I wing some of it?  Should I choreograph every single minute?  Or should I break down a short routine and teach that for at least a few songs? 

How do all of you teachers do it??  Please help me sleep tonight!!!!  :-D

*Day 14 of 30 day blogging challenge*

Uncomfortable topics no one wants to discuss after gastric bypass

After you have weight loss surgery, a lot of things will change.  Most of them will be positive changes, but there are a lot of possible issues that people don't like to talk about.  Everyone will have their own issues to deal with. Here are a compilation of issues I have either run into myself or have had my support group members bring up.

     1.     Relationships will change.  Prior to surgery, I attempted to pinpoint who might be a "problem" in my life.  Post-surgery, I was wrong.  People I expected to be jealous were very supportive.  Others I didn't foresee being a problem caused a lot of drama in my life.  After you lose a lot of weight, relationships with significant others, friends and family will change.  Many people accused me of becoming a bitch after I lost weight.  I just realized how many people were using me and started standing up for myself. 

     2.     You will feel hunger again.  Many people believe they will never feel the sensation of hunger again.  The feeling will return.  The timeframe is different for everyone.  For me, it took a year or so.  For others, its right away.  The feeling can be scary for some of us.  For me, an empty stomach was almost painful, even though I wasn't in any real pain.  So learning that its ok to feel a little hungry was important.

     3.     Therapy should be a requirement.  Most of us don't actually ever feel true hunger.  We eat constantly to avoid that feeling.  But we feel "head hunger."  We generally over-ate for emotional reasons.  The surgery will not fix this.  I strongly suggest therapy to every single person who has weight loss surgery. 

     4.     Vitamins are more important than you think.  If you have gastric bypass specifically, vitamins are extremely important.  We are malabsorptive post-surgery and won't get our vitamins from food.  You should have blood tests every single year.  Here are the blood labs I still have my doctor run every year:  CBC; serum iron; serum folate; liver panel - AST, ALT, Alk, Phos, Tbili, direct bili, albumin; B12; serum calcium, electrolytes and cholesterol panel.

Here are some other posts on the subject.

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/11/taking-care-of-ourselves-in-gastric.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/04/vitamins-and-gastric-bypass-surgery.html

The only update is that this year I was found to be anemic so I do take iron on a daily basis now.

     5.     Constipation hurts.  No way around this one.  It's an uncomfortable subject but it's one I wish someone had warned me about.  Take a stool softener earlier rather than later.  The pain is unbearable.  I now add whole ground flax seed to my protein shake, which helps with the issue. 

     6.     Your hair will fall out.  But you won't go bald.  Get your protein and vitamins in.  If you are really worried, you can use a shampoo like Nioxin.  But mostly just change your hairstyle, wait it out, and your gorgeous hair will return. 

     7.     You will deal with weight gain at some point.  We all do.  Some have bigger issues than others with it.  But we will all come to a point where the surgery is no longer "working" for us and we have to do it on our own.  When it does happen, take care of it when its only five pounds.  Don't wait until its 20, 50 or 100.   

     8.     Exercise is key.  I should have made this number one.  The minute you can get out of the hospital bed, start exercising and never, never, never ever stop. 

     9.     Addiction transfer is very real.  You ate for a reason.  When you can't eat anymore, you may pick another bad habit.  Alcohol.  Shopping.  Be aware of it and refer back to Item Number 3.

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2010/03/pick-your-poison.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2010/07/swapping-problems.html

     10.  Support groups are a life line.  Some people come to a meeting or two and then think they don't need a support group.  Other people stop going once they gain a little weight.  They are embarrassed or think they have failed.  But that's exactly when they should be asking for help.  

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/04/gastric-bypass-support-group.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/10/bari-buddies-walnut-creek-weight-loss.html

     11.     Plastic surgery is your choice and only you can decide if it's right for you.  It's a choice I made.  I didn't like feeling like a Shar-pei.  I also feel like it is what helps "keep me honest."  Gaining weight once everything has been tightened hurts. 

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/04/hurt-like-bitch.html

******

Here is a post I wrote in March 2011 on my 7th surgiversary, which lists all of my gastric bypass blogs for the previous year.  http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-am-seven.html

Here is another post about a book that might be helpful.  http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/02/habits-of-successful-weight-loss.html

Weight loss surgery (gastric bypass, lap-band, gastric sleeve, etc.) is a tool.  I've heard many, many statistics about how many people actually keep their weight off after surgery.  None are very encouraging.  Most say that a lot of people only maintain 50% of their weight loss at five years out.  That's depressing to me.  That also tells me that a lot of people are not taking surgery very seriously.  Be smart and work your program as hard as you can so that you can be a successful weight loss surgery patient. 

*Day 10 of 30 day blogging challenge*

Body image

This week, Natasha Wang wrote a great blog about body image.

What you see in the mirror…

When I was in Wellington, New Zealand, I had a rehearsal session at a studio called well, The Studio. Like any dance studio, The Studio has massive floor-to-ceiling mirrors in which students can check and correct their form, make sure their toes are pointed and lines perfect.

Scribbled on one side of The Studio’s mirrored wall were choreography notes for The Studio’s students who were competing in the New Zealand Pole Championships 2011, Andre Wotton and Mei.

But scribbled on the other side was a list of corporal punishments for pole ‘misdeeds’ — flexed feet gets you 5 push-ups or a 10-second plank, while the more severe ‘I quit’ gets you 10 push-ups and a 20-second plank. But the real punishment is incurred when a student makes an anti or negative body statement. This gets you 100 press ups or a 5 minute plank!

[Read the rest of the post and see photos at the link below...]

http://natashawang.com/?p=705
 
Don't miss the PUNISHMENT LIST, which Natasha received from Shirley Jones of The Studio in New Zealand.

*****

I usually have a lot of negative self-talk.  I'm in this weird place.  I'm 70 pounds heavier than I was 7 years ago.  But I'm still 100 pounds lighter than I was 9 years ago.  I'm definitely 50 pounds heavier than I need or want to be.  I'm in a lot of pain from whatever is wrong with my hip...more pain than I ever dealt with at 350 pounds.  At 6 feet tall and 250 pounds, saying I'm a "big girl" isn't necessarily me talking badly about myself -- its the God awful truth!  Maybe everything is about adding a marketing spin.  I see Shrek.  Bel sees a Viking Warrior.

Except, I don't always see Shrek.  Sometimes, I DO see the Twirling Viking Warrior.  Sometimes, I see a gorgeous girl.  Sometimes, I see an ugly girl.  Sometimes, I see a fat girl.  Sometimes, I see a strong girl.  Sometimes, I see a tired girl.  I'm 35.  Why did I just call myself a girl?  Oh, because in my mind, I'm not five years away from 40.  There are so many different sides of me.  And my brain never seems to know which one I am.  Maybe I am a different one each day.  As I'm trying to dance gracefully on the pole, I am the hippo ballerina.  As I'm shoving jellybeans in my face, I'm just the hippo.

I am trying to cut down on the negative self-talk.  But it's hard.  I get so frustrated with my crazy brain and the things it wills me to do -- like eat food I don't need.  I keep beating myself up because I am thinking, what if I had taken care of this weight gain when it was 10, 20, 30 or even 40 pounds?  Now at 50 pounds, I feel hugely fat again and hopeless about losing that much weight.  I've already had gastric bypass surgery.  What's my "magic pill" this time?  There is no magic pill.  There never was.  Even gastric bypass wasn't a walk in the park or a free ride by any means.

So I will continue to take this day by day.  Watching my food intake and working out as diligently as possible.  I will continue with pilates, yoga, pole and silks.  I will continue to battle myself over the cardio that I know I need to do.  But I know I can do this.  In fact, I have no other options.  I will not be a gastric bypass failure.  And I will do the pole tricks that I've been enviously watching the other girls perform.

Here is my pole goal:  There will be at least one invert in my Lovely Rita routine in April 2012.  I have less than six months.  LET'S DO THIS!

Accountability Group - Pole Dancers Unite!

Join us on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/poledancersunite/

This is a group for pole dancers to unite and talk about losing weight or gaining strength so we can be better polers! We can be accountability partners to help each other set goals, stay on track and report our successes. Join the Northern California Pole Dance Ambassador in losing weight and getting stronger! Once you join the group, please create a doc (see the right hand side of your screen) and list your goal(s). You can use it like a journal so we can follow each other's progress.

 

Psoriasis and back pain?

Today I had the four-week check-up with my dermatologist regarding Enbrel.  My doctor's office asked me to participate in a survey for people with psoriasis.  One of the questions asked had to do with back/hip pain not associated with an injury that actually gets better with exercise instead of worse. 

Interesting.  You mean like MY back and hip pain?  The pain came from nowhere and I feel tons better when I'm working out consistently.  I've always wondered how that works.

I asked the significance of that question.  The PA said that it could be psoriatic arthritis.  She said I should definitely tell (remind!!) my orthopedist that I have psoriasis.  They did an x-ray and said I didn't have regular arthritis, but I don't know if the test for psoriatic arthritis is different. 

Anyway, I just found that interesting.  She did also mention that Enbrel also treats psoriatic arthritis, so I may notice that my hip and back pain get better during the time I'm on the medication.  I definitely feel like I'm not in as much pain as I should be after a couple of weeks off at the gym (and then a great/hard Twirly Girls class last night).  So, maybe THAT'S where my hip and back pain come from!

It's good information to know and now I have even more motivation to exercise.  I signed up today for pilates reformer classes at The Absolute Center in Lafayette.  I had a great Twirly Girls class and felt like I really need to get my core in shape.  Starting in early September, I will take classes twice a week for five weeks.  Hopefully I have the money to continue when this series is over!

Still motivated...WOOHOO!!!

The Blood Type Diet

So last week, I talked about a possible gluten-free diet. 

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/05/gluten-sensitivity-and-psoriasis.html

Friday night, I tried gluten-free pizza at Skipolini's.  It wasn't bad but it sure wasn't great.  My friend has been gluten-free for years and says that it's her favorite, so I assume after years of not eating bread, it probably does taste pretty good.  But when you had a delicious croissant for breakfast, there is no comparison. 

I think I would rather just eat less bread than replace it with gluten-free products.  Plus, my stomach was seriously upset after I ate the gluten-free crust.  Post-gastric bypass, my stomach has to think hard any time I eat new things -- even seven years later.  But, I had one piece Friday night and one piece Saturday.  And both times, my stomach was grumbling and very upset with me. 

I have heard for years about the Blood Type Diet.  It sounds interesting and some of what they say makes sense (and goes along with the whole gluten-free thing).  You can find lots of websites who say its all bullshit too.  I find with any diet, supplement, exercise, store, or whatever, you can usually find someone who loves and someone who hates it. 

My blood type is O positive.  So, according to this website:

Type O was the first blood type, the type O ancestral prototype was a canny, aggressive predator. Aspects of the Type O profile remain essential in every society even to this day – leadership, extroversion, energy and focus are among their best traits. Type O’s can be powerful and productive, however, when stressed Type O’s response can be one of anger, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. When Type O wiring gets crossed, as a result of a poor diet, lack of exercise, unhealthy behaviors or elevated stress levels, Type O’s are more vulnerable to negative metabolic effects, including insulin resistance, sluggish thyroid activity, and weight gain. When you customize your life to Type O’s strengths you can reap the benefits of your ancestry. Your genetic inheritance offers you the opportunity to be strong, lean, productive, long-lived and optimistic. 

The legacy of your Type O ancestry causes an immediate “fight or flight” response in people of this blood type. However, this finely tuned response to stress, so vital in early Type O’s, is not always so beneficial in modern times. The Type O response can cause bouts of excessive anger, temper tantrums, hyperactivity and even create a severe enough chemical imbalance to bring about a manic episode. Since there is a powerful, synergistic relationship between the release of dopamine and feelings of reward, Type O is more vulnerable to destructive behaviors when overly tired, depressed or bored. These can include gambling, sensation seeking, risk taking, substance abuse and impulsivity. To avoid becoming overstressed, Dr. D’Adamo recommends following the Type O diet, which focuses on lean, organic meats, vegetables and fruits and avoid wheat and dairy which can be triggers for digestive and health issues in Type O. Additionally, he suggests that Type O’s avoid caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine can be particularly harmful because of its tendency to raise adrenaline and noradrenaline, which are already high for Type O’s.  

So, it pretty much tells me to avoid gluten too. 

Here's my problem with "diets."  They don't work.  I can think of this as a lifestyle change, of course.  But I already know what works best for me -- ANYTHING in moderation.  I just don't work well when I have to cut something out completely.  Maybe its better for my body, but my crazy brain inserts itself and tells me I need to eat MORE of something if I try to cut it out.  And I can fight it for awhile but I always give in eventually.  It's so  much easier than battling my own mind.

I've lost weight before.  And I've had clear skin before.  I just need to keep eating right and exercising.  The weight will come off and my skin will look better.  I just need to be patient. 

Finishing Couch to 5k...starting Bridge to 10k

So, I didn't think it was possible but I am ALMOST done with Couch to 5k (one run left...and its scheduled to happen tomorrow).  I took much longer than the nine weeks they scheduled, and I HATE running for 30 minutes (15 minutes seems to be my happy place).  But I can, in fact, run for 30 minutes straight without stopping.  Side note:  That's on a treadmill at a steady 4.5 miles per hour.  On the trail, my lazy ass stops way too often. 

Follow the path here:

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2010/12/couch-to-5k-program.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-beat-odds.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/02/couch-to-5k-updatesix-weeks-in.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/03/couch-to-5k-and-stiletto-incident.html

I did the Brazen Wildcat 5k last weekend.  Although I shaved two minutes from last year's time, I still had to walk most of it.  It was straight uphill, down, back up and back down.  I jogged on the downhill as much as possible but that puts a lot of stress on my knees.

I am still planning to start Bridge to 10k soon.  I am only running once a week, though. Here is their schedule:

Each workout includes a 5 minute warmup walk and 5 minute cooldown walk
Week 1	Duration: 53 min. Run 10 min/walk 1 min Repeat x 4.
Week 2	Duration: 57 min. Run 15 min/walk 1 min. Repeat x 3.
Week 3	Duration: 63 min. Run 17 min/walk 1 min. Repeat x 3.
Week 4	Duration: 66 min. Run 18 min/walk 1 min. Repeat x 3.
Week 5	Day 1: Duration: 55 min. Run 22 min/walk 1 min. Repeat x 2.Day 2: Duration: 61 min. Run 25 min/walk 1 min. Repeat x 2.Day 3: Duration: 71 min. Run 30 min/walk 1 min. Repeat x 2.
Week 6	Duration: 70 min. Run 60 min.

I am actually planning to stick with weeks 1 and 2 for awhile to get my stamina up.  I'd like to speed up and I've heard that walking for a little bit in between running sets is actually good for interval training.  Bel told me to look up the Pose running technique.  So I am going to try to use that to make sure I am moving properly. 

I am feeling pretty frustrated and down about this whole diet and exercise thing.  I've been reading back on old blogs and have to kind of giggle at my own cheerleading attempt to keep myself motivated.  Most of it is bullshit to pretend that I'm on track.  Lately, whether I'm eating well or not, or exercising or not, there doesn't seem to be a track.  My body is off doing whatever it wants. 

Until next time...

Brazen Racing

A couple of years ago, I started doing 5k's with Brazen Racing.  Mostly I was walking them.  My motivation behind Couch to 5k was partially to prepare for Bay to Breakers, but also to start actually running the 5k's I do with Brazen.  I did one over the weekend with my injured back.  It sucked.  Freezing cold, wet, muddy.  I jogged the flat parts but there were so many muddy parts on a grade that I had to walk them.  Slowly.  I think my final time was almost an hour so I was doing 20 minute miles. 

Anyway, I thought I'd share some photos since we were so disgusting and muddy at the end.  I definitely recommend Brazen Racing (cool shirts and medals, lots of goodies in our bags and good friends to see), and I look forward to feeling better so I can actually RUN an entire 5k soon!

I inverted!!!!!

Three and a half months ahead of my scheduled goal, I INVERTED!!  Maybe not a good one.  But I went upside-down on the pole and did not fall on my head!!!

In fact, every single person in class last night inverted!!  That was the first time for more than one of us! 

There was a lot wrong with my invert.  My hands weren't quite in the right place (PROTECT YOUR COOTER!!!) and my legs weren't really gripping.  I was only staying up because I had the death grip on the pole with my hands.  But it was an awesome first try.  And I didn't die. 

I feel like the only place to go from here is UP.  Quite literally.  And I'm super excited to have started 2011 off right...by already meeting one of my goals.

Thank you to Bel, Daisy, Edna, Andrea, Rita, Mandy and Gina for supporting me last night!  That was so awesome!

This last photo is a failed attempt at a cross-ankle release and back bend.  But it was a start!!!!

Couch to 5k program

In the past, people have suggested I try the Couch to 5k program.  I've always said no...I don't really enjoy running so why am I going to make something I hate part of my weekly workout routine?  I "do" 5k's (or, for Annie, I do the little-more-than-three-miles) with Brazen Racing, but I walk/jog them.  If it's a flat course, I can do that in about 45 minutes.  If it's really hilly or muddy, then maybe an hour.  I am slow.  I know I'm slow.  I walk slow.  I jog slow.  I  meander.  John can do Half Dome in six hours.  AJ did it in eight.  It took me 13 hours -- both times.  John would always try to give me advice to move faster -- put on fast music and just move to the beat.  Doesn't work for me.  I'm just a sloth.  And I'm ok with it.  So, any time someone has suggested I run, I'm like, NAW!

I recently had a change of heart.  A group of Twirly Girls are planning to do the Bay to Breakers in San Francisco next year (it's the 100th annual).  It's a 12k (about 7 miles), and I understand there are some pretty nasty hills.  So, I decided I need to learn to move a little faster (hip and back problems are getting better, so it's good timing).  We may not run any of it...but I don't want to be the one holding up the group.  And I imagine the Couch to 5k program is my best bet for being able to walk/jog a 7 mile hilly course.  The program takes you from basically doing nothing to running for a full three miles non-stop.  You follow the program three days a week for nine weeks, and it starts you walking for a bit, then jogging for a bit.  Then you work up until you are jogging for 30 minutes straight. 

I don't set New Years resolutions because I don't want to feel like a failure if I don't meet them.  So, this is my goal for January.  If I finish that in two months and feel good, I can start working on their 10k program.  I will have five months until the Bay to Breakers, so it will give me plenty of time to lose weight and get in shape.  It will also help me reach my goal of inverting on the pole by April. 

Has anyone else tried the program??

Let the insanity begin...P90X

After three weeks of talking about it, Rob and I finally got our front room cleaned up a little and started P90X yesterday.   I know a few people who are following this program and they talk about how hard it is.  Luckily, I am the queen of modification, so I am only following it to the best of my ability (for right now).  Yes, this probably means I am not pushing myself as hard as I SHOULD but, with Rob there watching, I am pushing myself harder than I normally would while working out alone. If you're a member at Beach Body, add me!  Here's my profile. 

I took my Day 1 photos in a bikini.  YUCK.  I offended myself.  I am so unhappy with how I look.  My lower back is all swollen out and my thighs are fat and dimply.  Once I see some results, I will post the photos.  But not yet.   

So, the first day on the program is chest and back (with the ab ripper at the end).  I actually didn't have heavy enough weights.  The heaviest weight I have is 12 pounds.  So, it was kind of easy.  I need to go pick up 15's and 20's.  Also, we haven't found the brackets to set up the pull up bar.  So, we tried to use bands to simulate a pull up.  It wasn't enough.  They want you to hook it to something in the ceiling, so you're pulling down.  We didn't have anything to attach it to, so we were more doing chest presses than pull downs.   I was kind of aggravated about it yesterday, because I felt like we didn't properly prepare.  However, when you go from doing very little to working out six days a week, any activity will be a benefit.  So, I'm over it today.

This morning, we did the plyometrics DVD.  It was 5:00 a.m. and, even though we are on the bottom floor, I was scared that two of us jumping around might be bothering our upstairs neighbors.  So, I modified some of the exercises.  My heart rate averaged 160.  I burned around 520 calories.  Normally, a good workout for me is 600 calories burned.  A great workout is 800.  So, once I get into it and feel more comfortable, I will bump up the intensity.  I've realized that even if you can't do high impact, you can often do things to make the workout more intense. 

P90X is definitely an intense program, and not for the faint of heart.  Beach Body offers many programs to help people get in shape.  My plan isn't to get completely ripped.  I am currently not planning to follow the food plan.  I just want to lose my 25-45 pounds and feel better about myself.  I workout to eat yummy food.  As I've said before, I try not to overindulge too often but I definitely don't want to feel like I'm on a diet.  I am closely tracking my progress through weight, body fat, measurements and photos. 

P90X is a 90 day program.  Interestingly enough, it ends on my birthday.  So, I hope to still hit my weight loss goal (set earlier this year) right on time!

If anyone else is doing P90X (or another Beach Body program), I'd love to hear about your experience!

To Pole or not to Pole...that is the question!

*WARNING*  This story ended up being WAY longer than I expected...and is just a back story of how I got to where I am now (body-wise).  It will probably be very boring to most people, but I wrote it so I'm posting it.  :-)

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While pole fitness is definitely my new, shiny toy, I am not new to the fitness world.  I have spent a lot of time and money trying to get myself into shape.

I am six feet tall, so regardless of my weight, I've always been a "big girl."  I probably started getting chunky in my teen years.  My dad said he noticed it after he and my mom split when I was 12.  I don't really remember it that way.  I don't remember feeling "fat" anyway.  I remember at age 4, people sometimes thought I was already closer to age 8.  So I think I considered myself tall, not fat.  I remember being in PE my freshman or sophomore year of high school and just being a huge disappointment to one of the male instructors.  I didn't run or jump or do anything really physical.  My junior year of high school, I went on a bit of a fitness kick and joined a step aerobics class.  That teacher was much impressed by senior year of high school.  I wasn't small by any means but I had toned up and was clearly a little more interested in my health and fitness.  I was probably still 180 pounds then.  Maybe a size 12.

Then college happened.

I was going to college and working full time.  So I was out of the house a good portion of my day.  I was eating fast food for all three meals each day.  I packed on some weight.  And a lot of it.  I think my top weight was around 285 pounds.  Maybe a little more or less.  I don't think I had quite hit 300 pounds.  When I was around 20-21 years old, phen fen hit the market.  I was on it for 8-9 months.  I got down to 235 pounds.  I was around a size 22.  But after you've been almost 300 pounds, that feels pretty good!  I looked and felt a lot better than I had in years.  I suffered a lot of side effects, but I didn't care because I WAS "SKINNY!"  Unfortunately, after they took that drug off the market, I skyrocketed back up to 300 pounds pretty quickly.

I worked out a lot.  When I was overweight, I was sometimes at the gym seven days a week.  I did Weight Watchers.  I'd lose some weight, then put it back on.  My doctor made me try Overeaters Anonymous.  Unfortunately, when you're food obsessed, talking about it all day just makes you want to eat more.  So neither of those programs were for me.  They say that once you have so much weight to lose, you just can't do it on your own.  Only 1 person in 20 can lose such a large amount of weight.  The body fights you.  It thinks you're starving it to death, so it creates plateaus.  Most people give up and then they gain all of their weight back plus some bonus weight. 

I was around 23 years old when I went to the doctor's office for my yearly visit and had hit 300 pounds.  The next year, it was 315.  The next year, 330 and the next I was 345.  I was easily a size 28 or 30.  No clothes fit well or looked good.  My feet hurt if I walked.  I was a sweaty mess if I did ANYTHING.  I was facing a life of health problems if I didn't change something fast.    And I was only 26 years old and I was looking at a lifetime of possible ailments: diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure, sleep apnea... 

The year I went to the doctor and hit my top weight of 347 pounds, I begged her for help.  My friend had recently had gastric bypass and I hoped it would help me.  If I didn't have to THINK about food, I just knew I could lose the weight.  She agreed.  There were some bumps along the way (I'll spare you the boring details) but on March 17, 2004 (at age 27), I had my RNY gastric bypass surgery at UCSF.  I'm now a St. Patty's Day "baby."  I call it my new-birthday because it was the day I was re-born.  I lost 30 pounds before surgery.  I was 317 pounds on surgery day.  Hey I just put that together!  I was 317 pounds and I had my surgery on 3/17.  Now if the lottery Gods could just send me my $317 million, I'd be set!  :-D

Sorry...I digress!

The next year was quite the weight loss journey.  I lost so much weight each month that I had to completely replace my wardrobe every two months.  I never plateaued and, at around 9 months out, I started blacking out.  I was losing weight too quickly and my body was letting me know.  So my doctor made me force a plateau by eating more food than a gastric bypass patient normally should (which is accomplished by just eating more meals throughout the day since my stomach was -- and still is -- limited on how much it can take at one time -- but this is also how a lot of gastric bypass patients fail).  I had low blood pressure and low blood sugar.  But I was, by then, down to around 190 pounds.  I hadn't been that size since high school!  I was ecstatic.  And I also looked like a shar pei with my clothes off.  I have to admit that, because the weight was coming off so easily, I got lazy at the gym.  Why work out when you don't have to?!  Big mistake.  And I tell all potential gastric bypass patients that working out is the most important thing they can do after surgery!

After my body finally settled down, I hired a personal trainer and lost another 10 or so pounds.  My lowest weight after surgery was 179 pounds.  I was a size 12.  I was back at the gym, working with a personal trainer (this was in early 2005), but the skin just can't recover from that.  Eventually, I did suffer from the correction that most gastric bypass patients go through...I gained back 15 pounds. 

In 2006, I had three rounds of plastic surgery to tighten and remove the saggy skin (Big THANK YOU to my plastic surgeon, Kevin Degnan in Walnut Creek.  He's an artist!!!).  I had a lower body lift and breast lift/augmentation in February.  I had my arms and inner thighs done in June.  And then I had a little clean up work (the "bra overhang") done in November.  It was a difficult and painful year.  I don't think I stepped foot in the gym once.  I had 14 pounds of skin removed from my mid-section with the lower body lift (basically, a tummy tuck, but you are cut around the entire body instead of just the front).  I ended that year weighing around 195 pounds.  Strangely, though, despite the skin removal, I never saw that weight loss on the scale and I still wore around the same size...a 12 or 14, depending on the brand. 

I started a medication in early 2007 that caused me to gain 25 pounds pretty quickly.  My top weight (post-gastric bypass) was 222.  My scars hurt when I gain weight.  They really are what keeps me honest.  So in September of 2007, I headed back to the gym.  I signed up with a small group training class where I met my now-good friends, AJ and John (among others), as well as our awesome trainer, Kim.  I am not a morning person but for six months or so, I met the group at 5:30 AM to train.  When I couldn't afford to pay for training anymore, I continued working out with AJ (at the same un-Godly hour).  I also eventually signed up for pilates reformer training with John.  I was in the best shape of my life.  In June 2008, John took me to the top of Half Dome.  It was the most amazing and draining experience of my life.  I had gotten myself back down to 201 pounds.

In September 2008, my office went virtual and I began to work from home.  I tried to keep up the early morning routine but it is sometimes difficult when there is no reason for me to be up that early.  By February/March 2009, I couldn't do it anymore.  What a huge mistake.  Having a reliable gym partner is probably the most helpful tool you can have when trying to get in shape.  I would go into the gym later in the morning to work out but I was definitely not working out as hard as I was when I had AJ pushing me.  The weight didn't start creeping up immediately, but two more medication changes/additions put more weight back on me almost overnight (with the first medication change, I put 15 pounds on in two weeks...that hurts!!).

In September 2009, I started commuting to Alameda and in October, I moved to Clayton.  This usually creates a two and a half to three hour round trip commute each day.  So, skipping the gym was getting easier and easier.  My weight was creeping up again.

Rita and I started Twirly Girls Pole Fitness in December 2009.  I was edging up close to 220 pounds again.  I set a goal:  lose 5 pounds a month for 8 months, so I'll be down 40 pounds by my birthday.  That means I'm setting a goal to be back to my lowest post-gastric bypass weight.  I can do this.  Of course, the day after I set this goal, I got sick and had some more medication issues (post-gastric bypass, I am VERY sensitive to medications and PMS water weight).  I gained 8 pounds of water weight within a couple of days.  Those pounds started coming off but haven't completely gone away.  So, as it stands TODAY, I am 225 pounds.  I hate saying that.  It makes me feel fat.  I mean, I am still wearing the same clothes...they just fit a little tight and I don't like how I look in them.  But I am committed to making the change to be a healthier person. 

So, I sit here on the 2nd day of February in 2010.  I am starting my third month of Twirly Girls.  I am having so much fun and I am meeting so many amazing people.  I can already tell a difference in my arms.  In addition to pole fitness, I am also doing yoga twice a week (battling some hip and lower back pain issues...I'll save the "old lady hip" stories for another day), cardio DVDs at home three to four times a week, spinning (on a bike) once a week, and doing a circuit training class one a week.  Long story (VERY long story) short...I am back in business on the work-out front.

I feel like working out is so important.  I know that the gastric bypass surgery is a tool, not the magic fix.  For the rest of my life, I will have to watch what I'm eating and exercise.  And finding something fun and interesting is what will keep me working out.  I know that, if I'm working out consistently, my food doesn't matter.  I can eat almost whatever I want (my stomach fills up quickly so I feel full still and I am still sensitive to sugar so I can't overindulge too much).  So, why wouldn't I want to work out?  If I love food so much, working out is the key to continuing to hang out with my buddy, FOOD!  Whether its pole dancing or another type of exercise, I know I need to be doing something.  Then why not pole dancing?  Its fun and I enjoy it.  That is all that matters.  This is the point where I could launch into how irritated I am that some people judge me for that choice, but I will save that for another day.

Last but not least, regardless of my weight or size, I am learning to love myself no matter what.  I need to be healthy.  Not skinny.  And Twirly Girls has helped me with that. 

So, to pole or not to pole?  Of course...I choose to pole!