January Blog Hop: Pole Goals

It is Blog Hop time again!  This month, we are talking about pole goals.  If you want to read about how other pole bloggers are setting goals for 2013, visit this link HERE.

So for those who have been watching my meltdown about my weight and life, you might be wondering if I will be setting any pole goals.  AHHHH the pressure!!  Tell people I'm GOING to do something, then face humiliation when it doesn't happen.  Well, I've been telling people for three years that I would be inverting on a regular basis within the year and it hasn't happened yet.  I haven't melted into the ground with embarrassment.  I consider inverting more of a work in progress than a goal I will realize very soon.

So which realistic goals can I set for myself?  

First, my goal is to make it to at least one weekly class to learn.  I teach on Mondays but I can't be a good teacher if I'm not learning new moves myself.  When I got this new job in San Francisco, it kind of took away from me taking my Wednesday class.  But I am making the effort to go to class on Saturdays and may actually hit up the Thursday night class every once in awhile.  

Second, my goal is to continue working on my flow and dance techniques.  It is quite possible I will never be a trickster.  But that doesn't mean I can't bust out a beautiful routine that might make people cry.  My handstands usually attract an "ahhhh" or two.  So, I want to learn new ways to incorporate those into my routines so that I don't become stale.  

Third, my goal is to stay on track with an exercise program to gain strength.  My yoga class is a pretty good one (which is helping with strength AND flexibility).  And I have been holding plank every morning before work.  The stronger my core gets, the better chance I will have of actualizing the dream of inverting regularly.  

I don't want to overwhelm myself, so those are my three goals for this year.  I don't do New Years Resolutions, so these goals will have to suffice. 

Have you set any pole goals?  I'd love to hear yours!

Inverting using a ball

Yesterday, I posted a photo on Facebook showing how I use a medicine ball to do inversions at home.  I wanted to share my technique here too.  I'm sure people have their own way of helping newbies invert, but I like using the ball (at home anyway) because it makes me feel somewhat supported, but it still gives me the ability to flip my head and body backward so that I can wrap my legs.  I understand I may not be getting the full benefit of an inversion this way, but it gives me some time to play around with how I want my legs to wrap in order to feel secure.  Part of my problem when I go upside down is that I lose myself in the world.  So having the ball under me lets me feel safer while I learn how to wrap my legs for the best hold.  The more muscle memory I can build, the better I will feel because my body will automatically know what to do when I do a real inversion later. 

I have played around with inverting from the floor but since I can't get my head and body backwards (since the floor is obviously in the way), I find that I don't get into the proper position.  Because my hips are tight, I have a hard enough time getting my legs wrapped properly.  With the ball, I can play around with my position, then let the ball roll out from under me so that I am holding my weight.  

Anyway, I do admit that this can be dangerous since the ball can roll unexpectedly and dump you on your head, but I wedge it pretty well between myself and the pole.  I position the ball slightly in front but to the side of the pole so that I can lean back and have room for my body.  Photos are below.  Be safe since the balls can be unstable, but realize there are ways to help you do moves you aren't quite ready to do yourself!

From the floor, my legs aren't positioned in the right place

Using the ball, I have time to play with leg placement

Once I feel secure, I can let go

Then I can push the ball away and actually hold myself up

POLE GOALS!

So I haven't hit many of my goals lately.  But I wanted to make one list in one post so I could more easily keep track of the goals I'm not reaching.  I have been spending a lot of time practicing the early levels from my first few months at Twirly Girls since I am now teaching a beginner class.  My class will soon be climbing and inverting and we will either have to bring in a more advanced instructor or farm out my poor little students to other classes (which was my concern about teaching in the first place).  In my defense, I have been paying attention in class to the girls who DO invert and have been there to spot many of them.  So even though I know some have said mean things about me teaching more advanced classes, I understand the mechanics of how moves happen, even if I am not able to execute them myself.  If that makes sense.  I am really excited about how everyone is progressing and hope I am building a solid foundation for them as Bel did for me.  

Here are a list of my pole goals:

Superman

I DID do a mini-version of a Superman.  It freaking hurt like hell.  I mean, my thigh surgery was no cake walk and Superman reminded me that pain.  There are some photos of that fun posted below.

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/12/all-pole-goals-updated.html

Handstand

I can do handstands all day long.  I am working on my core so that I don't NEED to do them against a pole or wall and so that I can lower my legs with more control.  

 

Reverse Handstand

This is somewhat of a new move for me.  It is when your body is facing the pole instead of away like in a regular handstand.  It is also the ending position for coming down from some inverts.  However, since I am not inverting, I have to do a downward dog move with my ass as close to the pole as possible, then reach up with my super un-bendy leg and back, press the sensitive top of my foot into the pole and push myself upward.  It hurts if I do it more than once or twice in a row.  Thanks to Kat, I finally have the ability to grip the pole with my knees and legs and help myself walk my hands back toward the pole.  However, once I am perfectly upside down, I panic and dive out.  It's weird.  

Bow and Arrow from a Handstand

I've lost a lot of flexibility lately and my leg that hangs down is getting further and further away from the ground.  Must make more time for yoga!!!

Splits

I have done nothing to further this goal.  I want to pick up Alethea's DVDs soon.

Dancer

Same...nada.  I suck.

Climb

Some days I'm a little monkey.  Some days I'm not.  I'd like to be more consistent.  

Inversion

I had made a goal of inverting by the time the Third Annual Lovely Rita rolled around (I think I made the same goal last year).  It didn't happen.  But I am working on my core strength and am closer every day to inverting SAFELY and PROPERLY.  I can do it if someone helps shove me into it, but I know that's not the right way to do it.

Cross-Knee/Ankle Release

I haven't tried this one in awhile.  Since I'm the fattest ass in class, I don't really do a lot of these moves unless Doug or someone more my height is in class to spot me.

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-pole-goals.html

Lying Lady/Plank

I haven't tried this one much but I bet I could get a little closer to lying flat.  So much of my issues are in my own head!!!

Half Iguana Mount

I actually figured out I have the shoulder flexibility to get both hands on the pole behind me (full Iguana Mount).  So once I'm a little stronger, this will be MINE!!!!

NEW POLE GOAL:

Next year, I want to get X-Pert certified.  Why next year?  I'm poor and I feel embarrassed that I'm two and a half years into pole dancing and still not inverting.  Why X-Pert?  I respect that Aerial Amy did it (among many other reasons).  I also like Climb & Spin, but it was a bit more expensive. 

So there you go.  What are some of your pole goals?  Maybe I can add them to my list.  :-)

New Pole Goals

I haven't hit my other pole goals really, but I have two new ones to add!

Here is my last post about pole goals:

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/12/all-pole-goals-updated.html

Lying Lady

Here is a picture of Lo doing it and then here is my attempt.  This will be part of my cross-ankle release goal. 

Half Iguana Mount

The Iguana Walk is the amazing move that Jenyne Butterfly does where she looks like she's walking down the pole.  The girls who took Natasha Wang's advanced workshop said they were learning the Half Iguana, where one hand is holding on to the pole and the other is in handstand position.  I have been trying to kick into the handstand and haven't been able to yet.  I did it from a headstand, but it isn't really the same.  But now I have the "feeling" down so I am going to keep trying until I can essentially do a one-armed handstand!

Video of Iguana Mount:



Video of Iguana Walk:



Pictures of me kicking around:

*Day 11 of 30 day blogging challenge*

Understanding your own limitations

When I saw Lulu's article earlier this week, I immediately sent the photos and videos to Bel and said, "if Lulu is doing these moves, there's no reason I shouldn't be strong enough to do them too!"  It might sound like I'm putting Lulu down, but I'm not.  I already know that being overweight doesn't mean you can't be strong.  But I am always so focused on what I *might* or *should* be able to do in the future when I *hope* to lose a few pounds.  I weigh the same as Lulu, so maybe there is hope that I can stop waiting for the future to get here and just get my ass on the pole and do them now. 

Bel mentioned that Lulu has an extensive background in cheerleading and gymnastics.  Of course that is obvious as you watch her bust out the splits like they are nothing.  I am nowhere near doing the splits.  I don't have the flexibility.  That has nothing to with weight.  That just means I'm not bendy.

Bel also mentioned how she (Bel) used to be able to do pull-ups.  Then she had shoulder surgery and could no longer do them.  She's still strong, but something is "mis-firing" or not connecting.  She brought up all of my surgeries and the scars that zig zag all over my body.  My surgeon had to cut through all kinds of muscles and tissue and nerves.  Perhaps some things will just never connect properly again.  I don't want to use this as an excuse not to keep trying.  But I also want to be realistic and not expect things of myself that I may never be able to do.  I was not a super active kid.  I didn't really take dance classes or gymnastics, so my body doesn't have old muscle memory of back bends and splits to go back to. 

You can read about my plastic surgery adventures HERE.

Let me try to describe my scars to you.  One starts at the inside of my left elbow.  It runs up my inner arm, to my arm pit (with a z carved in to avoid tying my arms down to my sides), then down the side of my body (through the "bra overhang area") to a half-circle under the fold of my left breast.  I have a matching long scar on the right side.  Since I had a breast lift, there is a line from the scar that goes under my breast up the middle to my nipple.  My nipples were removed and sewed back on, giving my breasts the classic lift "smiley face." 

Due to the lower body lift, I have a scar that encircles my entire body -- around my hips.  Then I have a scar that goes from my pubic bone up to between my breasts.  If I wear a low enough cut shirt, you can see the top of that scar.  My surgeon re-arranged my abdominal muscles in that surgery. 

I also had an inner thigh lift, which seems to be my most limiting scar.  It starts in my bikini line at the front and goes down and around to my butt.  It is almost like I'm wearing a pair of scar underwear.  Of course, I have that scar on both the right and left sides.

So that is a lot of scar tissue that could be limiting me.  Maybe just my flexibility, maybe in how my muscles reconnected and now fire.  It took almost two years for me to get the feeling back in my left forearm and I wasn't even cut in that area!  It also took a long time for the feeling in my hips to come back and I still have many "dead spots."  I may never fully know what the issue is.  Keith of Tri-Valley Bodyworks does still keep me walking when my body wants to fail, and has worked extensively on releasing my scars. So I will walk a fine line between working toward the moves I want to do and understanding some may not be available to me.

In the meantime, I will keep setting my pole goals and, if/when I hit roadblocks, I will find ways around them!

*Day 3 of 30 day blogging challenge*

All Pole Goals Updated

In April, I did an update of "all" pole goals.  I figured I should rein this thing in and start updating them on a more regular basis.  Check out my other post HERE.

Here are my pole goals and how I'm doing in them.

Handstand

This one is fairly easy for me now.  I just need to work on flexibility to do more "things" once I'm in a handstand and more core strength to control the movement better up and down. I'm working on two versions.  One facing the pole, one facing away. 

Me with Natasha Wang...she is so flexible and why the hell is my foot turned like that???

Bow and Arrow from a handstand

My back is fairly inflexible.  So I am working on this one.  We did a video at Twirly Girls recently that shows it better than a photo can.



Splits

Another work in progress.  Emphasis on the work, not the progress.

Dancer

Again, inflexible back...and will be a difficult one for me.

Climb

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/10/pole-goal-climbing.html

I have successfully climbed during two classes.  It's still a struggle for me, but I am working on it!

Inversion

Although I have inverted a couple of times with help, I realized I needed to work on my core to do it safely.  Not only for me but for the safety of my spotters (I'm 6 feet tall and well over 200 pounds...no need to squish my 5 foot tall teacher).  But I have been going to pilates and am working hard to get into better shape.  I made a goal at the last Lovely Rita to invert at the 2012 event.  I am still working on that goal!

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/04/new-pole-goal.html

Cross-Knee Release (or someday, Cross-Ankle Release)

I require help to get upside down once I'm in the "sit" position.  So my goal is to get the strength to lower my own body.  Then it will be to do this higher off the ground.  Then the next goal will be to have the strength to sit back up.  Currently, I hang upside for a minute, then slowly melt to the floor.

What are your pole goals?

Body image

This week, Natasha Wang wrote a great blog about body image.

What you see in the mirror…

When I was in Wellington, New Zealand, I had a rehearsal session at a studio called well, The Studio. Like any dance studio, The Studio has massive floor-to-ceiling mirrors in which students can check and correct their form, make sure their toes are pointed and lines perfect.

Scribbled on one side of The Studio’s mirrored wall were choreography notes for The Studio’s students who were competing in the New Zealand Pole Championships 2011, Andre Wotton and Mei.

But scribbled on the other side was a list of corporal punishments for pole ‘misdeeds’ — flexed feet gets you 5 push-ups or a 10-second plank, while the more severe ‘I quit’ gets you 10 push-ups and a 20-second plank. But the real punishment is incurred when a student makes an anti or negative body statement. This gets you 100 press ups or a 5 minute plank!

[Read the rest of the post and see photos at the link below...]

http://natashawang.com/?p=705
 
Don't miss the PUNISHMENT LIST, which Natasha received from Shirley Jones of The Studio in New Zealand.

*****

I usually have a lot of negative self-talk.  I'm in this weird place.  I'm 70 pounds heavier than I was 7 years ago.  But I'm still 100 pounds lighter than I was 9 years ago.  I'm definitely 50 pounds heavier than I need or want to be.  I'm in a lot of pain from whatever is wrong with my hip...more pain than I ever dealt with at 350 pounds.  At 6 feet tall and 250 pounds, saying I'm a "big girl" isn't necessarily me talking badly about myself -- its the God awful truth!  Maybe everything is about adding a marketing spin.  I see Shrek.  Bel sees a Viking Warrior.

Except, I don't always see Shrek.  Sometimes, I DO see the Twirling Viking Warrior.  Sometimes, I see a gorgeous girl.  Sometimes, I see an ugly girl.  Sometimes, I see a fat girl.  Sometimes, I see a strong girl.  Sometimes, I see a tired girl.  I'm 35.  Why did I just call myself a girl?  Oh, because in my mind, I'm not five years away from 40.  There are so many different sides of me.  And my brain never seems to know which one I am.  Maybe I am a different one each day.  As I'm trying to dance gracefully on the pole, I am the hippo ballerina.  As I'm shoving jellybeans in my face, I'm just the hippo.

I am trying to cut down on the negative self-talk.  But it's hard.  I get so frustrated with my crazy brain and the things it wills me to do -- like eat food I don't need.  I keep beating myself up because I am thinking, what if I had taken care of this weight gain when it was 10, 20, 30 or even 40 pounds?  Now at 50 pounds, I feel hugely fat again and hopeless about losing that much weight.  I've already had gastric bypass surgery.  What's my "magic pill" this time?  There is no magic pill.  There never was.  Even gastric bypass wasn't a walk in the park or a free ride by any means.

So I will continue to take this day by day.  Watching my food intake and working out as diligently as possible.  I will continue with pilates, yoga, pole and silks.  I will continue to battle myself over the cardio that I know I need to do.  But I know I can do this.  In fact, I have no other options.  I will not be a gastric bypass failure.  And I will do the pole tricks that I've been enviously watching the other girls perform.

Here is my pole goal:  There will be at least one invert in my Lovely Rita routine in April 2012.  I have less than six months.  LET'S DO THIS!

Pole Goal: CLIMBING

Guess who put her FIVE DOLLARS (well, Bel's $5) on the ceiling at Twirly Girls last night?!

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I understood the CONCEPT of climbing.  Grip with your knees, don't pull up with your arms.  But it just didn't come together until last night.  I can always go up one step (duh because I'm stepping on to the pole from the floor), but the next step up just never happens.  I can wiggle and jiggle and try to inch up the pole but I just can't get that back leg to go up, then have my front leg move up too and I'm not strong enough to completely let go and caterpillar up like the BeSpun girls do.

Then last night, it happened. 

I climbed about 3/4 of the way up, giggling like a weirdo clown the whole time.  Then I came down.  I was sweaty and tired (I mean, I am always sweaty but last night was especially difficult because it was extremely humid).  I then tried a few more times.  I could go up to the second step but never past.  I was getting frustrated and nervous.  I started sweating more and slipping off the pole.  (I believe Bel has 12 foot ceilings.)

I tried iTac2 (my friggin' thigh skin feels like it has been ripped off...that stuff WORKS).  I got about half way to 3/4 of the way a few more times.  I tried Mighty Grip gloves (yeah with my thighs sticking like glue, I was scared if I got to the top, I wouldn't be able to get down).  I tried using a chair to jump half way up.  I was tired.  The top of  my foot was hurting, my shin and thighs were on fire, my forearm was burning.  I was sweating more and getting grumpy.  I gave up.

Then Bel suggested I put my boots on.  YAY!  Of course!!!  My boots!  They would keep my sweaty legs from slipping off the pole.  So on my final attempt (using boots and a step stool so I could at least be one step closer to the damn ceiling), I had my $5 ready (well, Bel and Cindy had it ready and handed it to me because it kept grossing them out when it put it in my mouth during my climb) and I STUCK it to the ceiling!  Normally I would have said using my boots was cheating but I can attest that I WORKED for that climb.  I'm so sore and bruised today!

So I can say that I am finally progressing in one of my pole goals.  THE CLIMB TO THE TOP!

Here are some photos from last night's adventure.  Bel has one of me actually at the top so I'll add it once she puts it on Facebook.  In the meantime, tonight I am JUST going to practice my dance...no climbing.  I'm SO sore and I think my foot needs a rest.  The "Natasha toe slide" is going to be interesting tonight!

Aerial silks at Twirly Girls

The words "pole dancing" have a negative connotation to some people (boooooo to those people), and I've noticed lately that a lot of pole dancers are learning all kinds of acrobatics and (formerly) circus-type acts in order to compete in the pro circuit.  "Pole dancing" is now encompassed in the more tame "aerial arts" description.  Aerial silks are also in that category.  I went to a rotary meeting this morning and one of the men asked if I was one of the girls who did the trapeze.  Sure.  That's what I do.  :-)

On Sunday, I took a beginner aerial silks class at Twirly Girls.  It was so much fun!  I literally cannot do most of the moves, but I did rock the ONE I was able to knock out (I can flip over and hang upside down like a monkey -- only IF the knot is low enough so I can sit without having to lift my own fat ass up using my arms).  It not only requires good core strength, but some upper body strength as well.  I'm really excited that we have silks at Twirly Girls and am looking forward to continuing with my pilates reformer classes so that I can improve at silks AND pole.  I have set all of these pole goals and can't hit any of them until I get into shape!  I'm finally ACTUALLY on my way there now!

Here are some photos from our class.

Update of all pole goals

I had been setting goals I was calling "pole goals" (stolen from PoleSkivvies posts).  :-)  I guess most aren't really even pole-related -- more fitness/strength related.  They are reasons I'd like to be in better shape.  "Non-weight/scale related goals" I should call them.  Anyway, it's time for an update.

I don't think I've improved much on any of them.  But I am still working to get stronger and more flexible.  I especially have issues bending backwards so I am focusing on back bends.

Here are pictures from March:

Here are pictures from April:

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/02/next-pole-goal-backbend.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/02/next-pole-goal-splits.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/03/next-pole-goal-dancer.html

http://lolorashel.blogspot.com/2011/03/updated-pole-goal-handstand.html

So, not a huge improvement but I'm still working on them.